(Content warning, discussions of SA and misogyny, mods I might mention politics a bit but I hope this can be taken outside the context of politics and understood as a discussion of basic human decency)

We all know how awful Reddit was when a user mentioned their gender. Immediate harassment, DMs, etc. It’s probably improved over the years? But still awful.

Until recently, Lemmy was the most progressive and supportive of basic human dignity of communities I had ever followed. I have always known this was a majority male platform, but I have been relatively pleased to see that positive expressions of masculinity have won out.

All of that changed with the recent “bear vs man” debacle. I saw women get shouted down just for expressing their stories of being sexually abused, repeatedly harassed, dogpiled, and brigaded with downvotes. Some of them held their ground, for which I am proud of them, but others I saw driven to delete their entire accounts, presumably not to return.

And I get it. The bear thing is controversial; we can all agree on this. But that should never have resulted in this level of toxicity!

I am hoping by making this post I can kind of bring awareness to this weakness, so that we can learn and grow as a community. We need to hold one another accountable for this, or the gender gap on this site is just going to get worse.

  • whoreticulture@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    2·
    7 months ago

    I said “that’s not the rule”, not “that’s not a rule”. As in, that’s not the rule you’re talking about. You’re literally just misunderstanding me, probably deliberately, and ignoring all my points to focus on pedantics! This is why you suck so bad dude!

    You’re ignoring the topic at hand to focus on something that you misinterpreted. Embarassing for you. Can’t believe you’re trying to turn this discussion into a grammar lesson, rather than the fact that your enforcement of civility rules is a shit thing to do.

    So back to the topic, if civility rules exist to defend minorities, which is what you claimed … why do we need them if we already have rules against bigotry and hate speech!!!

    And also back to the topic, how is continuing to ignore the conversation to rudely insist on your incorrect interpretation of my clear words… even after I clarified … how is that civil lmao

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
      1·
      7 months ago

      I’m still not understanding why it’s a shitty thing to stop people from having shouting matches and being bigots, which is what the civility rules are for, and you keep being rude rather than explaining it.

      But it seems like you are not a fan of the ‘no shouting matches’ part, which seems to be the problem. And, again, I would suggest 4Chan if you want endless shouting matches.

      • whoreticulture@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        2·
        7 months ago

        I’ve explained multiple times, and if you had bothered to engage with my points rather than ignore them completely you would understand. Another poster also wrote out several paragraphs explaining why. You are PRETENDING to not have seen these explanations I wrote out.

        Civility rules focus on the tone rather than the content, which is highly problematic because marginalized groups are often rightfully pissed the fuck off. That’s probably like, the fifth time I’ve written out a version of that.

        You are bringing up 4chan again after I already told you that that’s fucked up since it’s an extremely transphobic site, and I am a trans person. That’s not civil lmao. You can continually insult me by telling me to go to 4chan, but if I say “fuck you” I gety posts taken down. Make that make sense. Nah, you won’t because you get off on the power trip.

        I have seen how you operate multiple times. You get into arguments with people, nitpick over dumb shit, and then when someone gets frustrated and uses meanie-poopoo-head language you take out your moderation powers. You have done this to me and I’ve seen you do this in other threads to other users. You really suck dude.

        • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
          1·
          7 months ago

          Then feel free to flag my post for violating incivility rules. Maybe I’ll be banned. You seem to think I’m a moderator in this community when I’m not.

          • whoreticulture@lemmy.blahaj.zone
            2·
            7 months ago

            I know you’re not a mod here 🙄 but that still gives you weight. You won’t be taken down for civility because, as I have explained several times, the rules are enforced selectively and unfairly. You have more power in any community because of your status as a mod in other large communities, and because your style of incivility is assholeish condescension which is easy to pretend is polite. You are literally ignoring all my points, again, because you can’t dispute what I say, and you benefit from the rules.

          • whoreticulture@lemmy.blahaj.zone
            2·
            7 months ago

            lmao just saw your post history and literally one of your last post is FLAUNTING your mod power, literally just proving my point. You think being a mod gives you social weight, which it does, and the other mods also believe. And you can’t see how incivility rules are enforced unfairly??? You are just pretending not to understand this.

            • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
              1·
              7 months ago

              What are you even talking about now? Are you talking about this post? Where I said that they were welcome to ignore me or block me even if I’m a mod? That’s a weird definition of ‘flaunting.’

              https://lemmy.world/comment/10079373

              Again, if I have done anything to violate the rules in this community, do something about it. Flag my post.

              • whoreticulture@lemmy.blahaj.zone
                2·
                7 months ago

                You KNOW that you are being a polite asshole and won’t get your comment taken down. That is the entire point of my contention with you and the inequitable civility rule. You are IGNORING all of my points.

                You bragged about how you’re such a good guy because you’re a mod. You just keep pretending to miss the point! It’s really obvious!

                You have literally not addressed anything I have said and have perpetually deflected. I think the only reason you are continuing to respond is you are hoping I’ll get frustrated and say something that a mod will ban me over. This is exactly why these civility rules suck. This is why you suck. You have no response to any of my explanations and then lie and say I haven’t explained myself. Every time I see you comment, my day gets worse, because you’re always doing the same thing in every discussion I’ve seen you in.

                And not once have you said “my bad” or “I’m wrong” even though you have been mistaken or presumptive multiple times. 🙄

                  • whoreticulture@lemmy.blahaj.zone
                    1·
                    7 months ago

                    engage with the content of my post challenge level: impossible.

                    you are doing the same thing you always do and trying to bring this into a semantic argument.

                    you are scum defending these stupid civility rules when the way you engage with other people is just like, mind bogglingly obtuse and assholeish.