• Eochaid@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Why is it that so much of the internet wants to stick a tongue in an asshole? You realize that only porn stars do anything more than wipe and shower. You’re literally eating shit. Which is a great way to get wierd diseases or start involuntary vomit attacks in a supposedly sexy moment.

    You know what’s better than ass? You know what tastes better and is self cleaning and an actual pleasure center? Pussy.

    You deserve a finer dining experience. Eat pussy instead.

    • b00m@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      If you engage in anal play/ sex, there is some prep work involved. Not only pornstars clean and flush before having fun

      • Eochaid@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        You need to try better pussy.

        I mean, shit is shit, man. I don’t get the appeal when something way better is just down the road.

        • FarmTaco@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Bro pussy can be dirty as fuck too, if you keep the neighborhood clean it’s clean, it’s not like you are forever unclean if a poo particle touches it

          • Eochaid@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            But what if poo piles are literally coming out if it multiple times a day and being sprayed from it with every fart and anal pucker.

            Sure, a pussy can be dirty. But if a pussy is dirty, guaranteed the ass is toxic. If a woman is going to clean either, it’s going to be the pussy. A woman with a clean pussy still needs to do some prep before you go chowing on her ass.

            Plus, the pussy has a self-cleaning mechanism. So even a woman with average hygiene (takes a shower occasionally) will have a pussy that’s generally safe for consumption, notwithstanding any STDs.

            The ass’ only job is to jettison waste from your body. It’s literally just a shute for poop. It doesn’t clean itself because it doesn’t need to. It’s gross because that’s its job. A lady will need to be asked to do extra work to clean that shit up for you. Which is fine in the bounds of a relationship with trust and communication…

            But it seems a little unreasonable to expect that of a random encounter with Daphne or Velma.

    • eestileib@sh.itjust.works
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      1 year ago

      You realize that only porn stars do anything more than wipe and shower.

      TIL I’m a porn star. I guess that’s a promotion from slut?

      I do agree with you about the disease thing; I use a dental dam when the mood strikes me.

      I think it’s an age thing, my friends in their 20s are evangelists for ass eating, my fwb keeps asking me to let him do it, it’s kind of out of nowhere for me.

      • Eochaid@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I get that people that are really into anal play do a lot of prep to make the ass safer and more appealing. I get that safe ass eating is a thing and takes some prep.

        But that also means it’s a highly specific sexual act that takes a lot of prep, conversations, and assurances of consent. Ass eating isn’t something you do unless you’re in a committed relationship with a fair amount of trust.

        The authors of ass eating memes aren’t taking in this context. Instead, the meme is more like “man, I’d like to eat that random person’s ass out of nowhere without any prompting”. And what I’m saying is that 9 times out of 10, that person’s ass is fucking nasty at that moment.

        Now if they wanted to do it right, it would be more like, " man I’d love to date that woman for a while, fool around a bit, bring up the idea of ass eating, buy some dental dams, wait for her to douche and clean her asshole thoroughly, and then go to town on that specific hole". But that’s not what they’re doing.

        • ashenblood@sh.itjust.works
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          1 year ago

          This has been a highly informative discussion about eating ass, and I want to thank you for your contribution.

          May I suggest that the depravity of eating a stranger’s ass is a large part of what makes it such a widespread meme? A significant portion of the internet relates heavily to being a degenerate coomer, and thus memes which emphasize this aspect tend to be well-received.

          As my late grandfather always said, “Eat ass till you pass”

    • FlexibleToast@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Speak for yourself. Some of us have bidets. Also, everyone knows the universal flag for if it’s okay to eat ass is the wet wipes in the bathroom.

      • Eochaid@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I have a bidet. But I also know the shit it cleans off and how disgusting my toilet is after even a few days of shit going through it and being wahsed away with water.

  • Hofmaimaier@feddit.de
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    1 year ago

    Pietro, a man of wise decisions.
    But I want the egg sandwich with worms fry had once.
    Futurama; Parasites Lost; season 3, episode 2

  • robbankz@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Mines is Solid Snake’s rations after sneaking under a cardboard box to snap a soldiers neck on Metal Gear Solid ps1

    • Fireplant@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      the metal gear rations gotta be really good to save you from fucking gunshots and missile impacts

    • Orphie Baby@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      One of my very best friends also said that. He wanted to eat a tree star because the movie made them look amazing.


      ♪ Young man! There are leaves all around

      I say: young man! Eat a leaf off the ground

      I say: young man! Won’t it make a cool sound

      When you

      Stuff

      It

      In

      Your

      Leaf hole ♪

      • elscallr@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        When I was a kid I ate a lot of leaves trying to find a tree star leaf.

        Tree leaves taste terrible pretty much in general.

  • Toaster@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    110% it would be anything the cat chefs cook up in Monster Hunter World. Those animations always got me hungry.

  • xX_fnord_Xx@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I always wanted the food stick that Yoda took from Luke.

    Something about a self contained meal always appealed to me.