And no, I don’t mean, the supposed “Playful Bullying” (that will upset me too, same with being teased), or being even lightly prodded.

The other day, I was questioned on whether I “actually am a leftist”, by a friend. After I nervously answered fairly basic questions such as believing in healthcare and collective labor, they weren’t convinced. Ever since that day, I felt like I couldn’t be a leftist, especially since I lost any confidence in my ability to be “better” according to that person’s standards. If I couldn’t satisfy their standards that one time, what would be the point of trying to read theory and trying again? Yes I admit, I haven’t tried to read theory. I have no confidence that I would do it correctly.

So, I was already completely lacking in confidence in actually being a good enough leftist. But after that incident where I was bullied and picked on, even for a few minutes… Something in me gave up trying to keep up with the people on this website. It also made me fear and lose confidence in trying, for fear that I would encounter other “Secret Tests of Character” like that.

I feel as though in terms of personality, I am too quiet, too shy, and I have too little to say or contribute anyways, to feel at home here. It feels as though speaking the loudest and having lots to say is what matters the most here, and that is something I cannot do.

So, given that everyone insists “read theory”, which I haven’t been able to, does this mean I am not at the standards I seem to see here?

  • Cowbee [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    16·
    15 days ago

    @mathemachristian@hexbear.net already linked my basic beginner guide in this thread so I won’t spam it. Instead, I’ll leave you with advice for if you never read theory, as much as I think you should.

    Don’t speak on what you haven’t thoroughly investigated. If that is, say, whether or not revolution is required, don’t immediately say yes or no, or even say that you think revolution is required but aren’t sure. This sounds mean, but I promise, this right here will eliminate the vast majority of any real bullying you could come across. You can learn the answers to those questions by reading theory janet-wink but also by listening to others.

    Secondly, browse effort-posts and the News Mega. Just see what people are saying, and try to look up online what you aren’t familiar with.

    Third, just have fun in the general megathread and hobby comms like c/games! Those are just comfy and cozy.