I waited like 10 years from the time I first started suspecting myself being trans, all because I felt like it couldn’t really be that way for me, and I was probably just faking, and every other excuse under the sun, plus also not knowing how to get care anyway. I sure wish I had started transitioning way back then…
Lately it’s been a kaleidoscope of mourning for a past that could have been… So much questioning, denial, and self doubt. 😔
“I don’t feel enough dysphoria.”
obligatory “you don’t need dysphoria to be trans”
I wonder what water feels like, said the fish :3
Meee
I need more trauma so I can build character.
I wish I hadn’t hesitated so long, but if I could go back I wouldn’t warn myself. Letting that crack grow from a minor problem to a very major one has been very affirming. Like every day I don’t have tits I get more sure I want them. When I started I was working off a hunch and just… creating an environment for myself where I could address the idea without external or internal censorship. Now… This is a lot of very useful data. But I think its time to get going
A very scientific approach. You gathered lots of data to support your hypothesis.
god I’m in the same damn boat. a week and a half in and I’m already like. fuck I need to get on that. but also ✨ doubts ✨
About 6 months in and it’s hard to say there has been any real progress. Lots of thinking about it for sure 🤔
I remember this stage. I ended up hospitalized for mental health at the end of it.
If you have doubts about going on HRT, you can do a “trial run” so to speak. At least for E. That’s what I did and while I still have some doubts, I do know it’s something I want to pursue further. I just need to work through a few more issues.
I will say that E definitely did things for me that made me big happy. And there’s a good chance it will do the same for you. Or at least give you a better idea of what to expect/what you want for yourself.
yesyis!
mayb my therapist can somhow seee cryin in bed n give hrt then >//v//<
yesyes- thatll do it - like - pain does actulli do stff - right? -
otherwise it wud jus be useless sadness, n thad doesn make sense cuz of the finite amount of energy in the universe - like - pain is mor than jus physically gettin hurt - its also the mental stff. so thadental stuff has to go somwhere- yea! so its magicalli transmitted to the peeps whi need to see ut most with highest likelihood of thm changing thad sad thing to good.
obvobv-
shud i continue to actively makin myself mor ugly by the day, by simply eatin n drinkin? shud i continue purchasin products to further create distance between the humans n the rich?
shud i continue purchasin products to further create distance between the humans n the rich?
Ugh I feel this one. So many products available to express femininity 😍 just buy buy buy this commodified version of the self 😔
Need to somehow find a balance between hyper consumerism and “It’s OK to buy yourself nice things sometimes.”
That’s quite thought provoking, Maria.
Am I miseating and drinking because I need to destroy my reflection in the mirror as it doesn’t belong to me anyway?
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