Larry Ellison is not a stupid man.

Paraphrasing Heavy Weapons Guy and Bryan Cantrill, “Some people think they can outsmart Oracle. Maybe. I’ve yet to meet one that can outsmart lawnmower.”

Previously, on Awful, nearly a year ago, we discussed the degree to which Microsoft and OpenAI hoped that Oracle would be willing to perform the sacred duty of scapegoat bagholder:

Microsoft’s going to drop OpenAI as a customer. Oracle’s going to pick up the responsibility. Microsoft knows that there’s no money to be made here, and is eager to see how expensive that lesson will be for Oracle; Oracle is fairly new to the business of running a public cloud and likely thinks they can offer a better platform than Azure, especially when fueled by delicious Arabian oil-fund money.

sickos dot png

you go to Azure if you’re running Windows or you hate yourself — or both

one will quickly lead to the other