I’ve been dealing with a massive flare up of chronic fatigue syndrome (as well as a fun grab bag of other conditions), sleeping 12-14 hours a day and still get completely exhausted doing shit like making the bed or climbing the stairs. My wife’s condition is even worse, literally life threatening so she had to rely on me for everything at the moment, all the way from normal shit like cooking too staying awake while she sleeps to monitor her vitals.

My house is a fucking super fund site with dishes and laundry piling up, my green house is starting to die right when I should be getting my biggest harvest. Just realized I have a leaky pipe in the basement and mold is growing on shit but I just can’t fucking deal with it at the moment.

I feel like I’m literally dying and I wish I was dead constantly. I’m not really suicidal but every time something new goes wrong all I can think about is putting a gun in my mouth.

We live in bumfuck Appalachia and don’t have any family or friends close enough to lend support. I doubt there’s a social program in the whole country that would help in this situation and do there sure as shit isn’t one in rural areas.

I know the only way out is through but I just don’t know how much more I can take before I fully break.