It’s affected my life in the sense that I tend to avoid people different from what I’m familiar with. I’ve been diagnosed with general anxiety and additional traits that could be connected to neurodiversity, so that could be contributing, but I want to put in the appropriate effort and not use that as an excuse. I know that’s an ableist way of seeing it, but I don’t want my own issues to hurt others.

It’s affected relationships in the sense of ‘dating preferences’. I hate that type of racism and I’ve been on the receiving end of it, but it’s something that takes up space in my head. I actively work against that tendency when I can, but I hate that it’s a conscious effort.

I don’t believe that I’ve directly hurt people as a result, and I’ve been mindful and apologetic if I’ve made missteps. I’ve never had somebody stop me and talk to me about saying or doing something insensitive. I’d like to think I’d listen and internalize what someone said about how I treated them.

I never really considered people of color getting caught up in the white-guilt industry. I guess it makes sense if we’re more aware and open to the idea of racism actually existing.