My partner and I got together long after I had transitioned, so this doesn’t apply, but honestly, I’d find it really upsetting if someone viewed my own experience through that lens.

The way I put it is that the person I was before I transitioned wasn’t a full person. I was hiding/repressing part of who I was. But the part that I wasn’t hiding was still me. Post transition me is a full person. I’m still the me I used to be, but I’m also more than and different to who I was then.

I watched it because I watch anything with Mae Martin. This was totally nothing like I was expecting, but I found it really compelling

Neopronoun folk don’t need to be told the excuses. They live it every day. A thread where someone asking for support dealing with lack of acceptance from other folk, is not the place for those very folk to come in and list the reasons why that acceptance is just too hard for them.

This is a trans community where a trans person asked other trans people about an issue that impacts trans people.

It’s not the thread for an ally to come in and tell trans people they’ll just need to live with it, even if they do so politely.

I’ve been seeing something similar. Will see what we can do, but we’re currently in the “loading the moving truck” stage of moving house, so please bear with us if it takes a bit to get to the bottom of it

A remote user that is banned from this instance will also be banned from the communities on this instance, and those community bans federate, so they can’t interact with remote versions of the community.

They can still see the content in the community though. I think there is a gap around communities that they had never interacted with. They can’t subscribe to those communities because of the instance ban, but I think in theory they can still post to them, but that content will only be visible on their remote instance. I’m not certain of the details of this particular edge case though…

Could I make a feature request that would make my life as an admin much easier? Would it be possible to add links to the local URL, the canonical URL and a lemmy redirector like lemmyverse.link in the share button for posts and comments?

When trying to deal with spammers etc and sharing content with other admins, it’s currently quite difficult to expose a URL that the remote admin can use

Yerba mate and dulce de leche (though not together)

Because you are trans yourself, and are clearly working through your own stuff, I’m not going to ban you for merely holding transmed beliefs. You’re welcome to talk about those beliefs and your experience with them in terms of self acceptance, especially in an effort to challenge and dismantle them. Where it becomes an issue is if you express those beliefs in a form that invalidates other trans folk. That’s a single strike ban. No warnings.

A trans med is someone who believes that all trans people have crippling dysphoria and need or want gender affirming surgeries. They believe that trans people who don’t fall in to those categories aren’t really trans.

It normally comes from having a lifetime of dealing with crippling dysphoria, where gatekeeping of trans identities is normalised. You see a lot of it in 4chan communities, but also in conservative countries that gatekeep who can and can’t access transition care.

Trans medicalism is gatekeeping, and it is absolutely not welcome on any blahaj communities.

I will warn you now that you will receive an instance ban from all blahaj communities if you engage in any form of trans medical gatekeeping

Nope. All of the piefed stuff is clearly visible, labelled and optional.

I went with Dr Rossi in Argentina, and at the time, it was really cheap. With Argentina’s economy being the way it is though, I have no idea if it’s still a cheaper option

Piefed is opinionated software because Rimu puts his biases and preferences in to the final product. But Piefed makes them optional and puts the toggles in the place you would expect them so that admins can opt in or out of those decisions in a considered way.

Yep. The first one is using the photon front end, and the second is using mlmym

If Tesseract was the only alternative UI, I’d probably keep a fork of it available for folk. But there are enough other UIs out there that I’d rather simply drop it and forget that it exists

Yep, you’ve got it!

Same. It was my default lemmy UI.

That’s exactly where I’m at. I don’t align with a lot of the choices Rimu makes for Piefed, but I am 100% for him designing a tool that works for him, even when the defaults he chooses don’t align with my preferences. As long as I have the option to disable/change them as an admin, then I’d rather see a passionate dev creating tools that they want to use than a burned out dev creating something their heart isn’t invested in.

Unfortunately, tesseract isn’t that…

A long time ago, yeah. But these days, I’ve been transitioned long enough that I don’t sort of reaction/connection like that anymore. Now men are just men, and the idea that the world once saw me that way is something I have to remind myself of, rather than something that sits lurking beneath the edge of my awareness