the bad news: there is no inherent meaning. the good news: this means you get to create your own. each of us do! the harsh reality is we exist against our will. nobody chose to be here and the “purpose” appears purposeless. if you ask me, there is no such thing as destiny and there is no afterlife for a soul to ascend to, so the existence you are experiencing here on Earth is profoundly unique and should be treated as your one and only. you might spend your entire life searching for a grand meaning, but the saerch is part of the discovery, because along the way you are progressing as a person, and aging and maturing through life, so you’re not remaining stagnant and unchanging. it’s okay if you never truly “know” who you are or where you’re going–just keep doing it. you’ll end up somewhere, you’ll become someone.

yes, but i am also becoming more tolerant of personal quirks as i’ve learned of my autism and how it impacts my socializing. i worry nobody likes me and tend to avoid conversation. i want friends. i have some, but more would be nice. something genuine and deep but equally as stupid and silly and shallow.

a lot of people value celebrities for reasons i struggle to understand. i posted this thinking about those folks. there’s a lot of them out there who don’t realize many of these stars are fascists.

you can come in whoever you want

they will never see it this way because they struggle to make connections of what’s happening now to what will be happening in the future. right now they are suffering financially and making poverty wages for their labor. it’s a dog eat dog world out there and these people become vicious and learn to play the game of capitalism, and whatever the repercussions are down the line, well, that’s a problem for the future, they gotta focus on the now. so even if they are an inevitable target of the system, they aren’t right now, so… who cares?

I didn’t know AIDS could be this degree of silent. It’s truly scary. I’m partnered for life but would absolutely go on PrEP if I were single. No thank you.

After doing my own searching I was able to learn how this death was possible. For those who were just as confused as me, AIDS can become deadly rapidly and suddenly once the immunity threshold is breached and collapses in those with low symptom or symptomless HIV. Basically, his immune system was able to hold back the infections for as long as it could, and when it eventually progressed into AIDS it was like a dam broke and flooded his system. The infections overwhelmed his body and killed him. It’s likely that the HIV progressed to AIDS very recently for him. Most people with AIDS live to know they have it, some don’t. This is a case of untreated and undiscovered HIV. His body was fighting off opportunistic infections during the HIV stage until AIDS made it impossible and the infection took over quickly.

i’m honestly completely done with these people feeling in control and on top and have been for a long, long time. others are finally seeming to feel the same and if that spreads and enough of us get together… then we’ll have a nice bake sale.

hey how about we make it her problem?

i used to. they’re terrible. i couldn’t stand the infighting and dumbassery.