December 7, 1941.

How to tell the techs you’re lying without telling the client

It doesn’t matter. Buddha is Buddha.

It’s worth noting that none of these distressed investments are directly related to gaming.

The irony is thick and frothy, a magnificent head.

Authoritarianism is far right along the spectrum, and liberalism is center, center-right or center-left depending on the specific tenets set by the movement. (There are multiple liberalisms out there.)

Neoliberalism as practiced by the US Democratic Party and the UK Labor Party is right wing.

FOSS works on the premise of an angry engineer, that someone finally got pissed off about a problem enough to write a solution.

This so tracks.

All we need is for the communist government to say we like what you’re trying to do. Here’s an allowance for expenses!

I’ve realized that IRL there are no character traits we want a man to have but not a woman, and vice versa. This is the train of thought that leads me to gender abolition, at least for myself.

Masculinity no longer means anything positive, and the popular folk who assert that it means something insist that it means things that I find objectionable, and who behave in ways that are objectionable, themselves.

Happy birthday,… Mr. President…

Enby or NB (non-binary) is just a catch-all category for those of us who are genderqueer, whether two spirited, neither, alternating, both, third-gender or whatever, it all falls under enby.

I’ve deliberated at length at what masculinity means to me, which I explain here – sorry about the sloppy link.

tl;dr: My early perspectives of manhood come from the cold war: the capacity to hold onto immense (⚛☢) amounts of power and not use it inappropriately, and never in aggression. In time it became taking care of business; to man up is to pony up and pay bills and make sure adult stuff is managed. But in the 1990s that became adulting and was expected of everyone who was of majority.

Now, manhood is about using grandfathered presumptions of masculinity to preserve old power structures and oppress women and minorities, and I want nothing to do with any of it.

I hope I’ll just be the same, only happier and with sexual interests (or lack thereof) that match my circumstances. As I mention elsewhere, I really don’t want to turn into my dad, who is a full MAGA disciple and football fanatic who loves Trump with all his heart.

Considering the men on my mother’s side of the family tree all usually lose their hair in their thirties, I may also lose mine, and I’m not thrilled with the idea.

There’s a strong possibility my major depression is related. I was a very late bloomer, and was antagonized by school sports teams and their coaches when in primary school. (It was the eighties). My body hair has always been thin. Only in my fifties have I been able to grow a moustache, and then with no small amount of cultivation. I have a full head of hair at 58 even though the men on mom’s side of the family go bald in their thirties.

I’ve also been a meek, gentle soul, all my life, and for multiple partners, was able to be the one who didn’t rampage with lost tempers. My passivity may have to do more with ASD and not having the impetus to assert my soft boundaries.

Curiously, I was conservative in my early twenties, which was all undone as the premises my ideology was founded on were demonstrated to be false. Actual facts and studies pushed me to the left with the rise of the internet and access to more factual information. I research out of habit.

ETA Questions about low T rose in my fifties when my libido bottomed out leading to the end of my relationship of twelve years (it wasn’t the only factor but it was a factor). Now I look at porn and my brain doesn’t understand what the curves mean but knows they’re important. Now I have yearnings for some kind of ambiguous contact maybe more than cuddling… though I’m also touch starved right now, so that’s a factor. I’m not yet at the garlic-bread threshold and wish my brain would make up its mind.

I can’t speak to how hormones affect people generally, but looking at how my father behaves (and is a MAGA disciple and Trump worshipper) I’m terrified of becoming more like him.

Every person is different, and based on my heritage, I have some scary ideas of who I might have been via small nudges of destiny or biology.

For most of my life I was a gender abolitionist. I just didn’t care, really, about my masculinity. I’d still be down for GA except I recognize that trans folk get so much out of being their true gender. It makes them really happy, so there’s obviously something there.

I’d identify purely as enby (undefined) except I’ve become repulsed at how maleness is represented in society. With examples of masculinity like Donald J. Trump, Matt Walsh, Ben Shapiro and Joe Rogan, I’ve given up on maleness, and have proverbially burned my man card.

(Oh, I recently learned my levels of T are atypically low and probably have been all my life. I am seeing an endocrinologist in December to see if I’m a candidate for hormone replacement. I’ll try it so long as I don’t become a sex pest or a Republican or violent. I may be sad if I lose my hair.)

So now I’m Enby (undefined, but absolutely not a man).

That’s an example of genderqueer.

ETA I’ve deliberated at length at what masculinity looks like, and expressed my sentiments here – sorry about the messy link.

To be fair, a woman sleeping with anyone who is not her license-designated lover / owner is interpreted in Hollywood to be an act of rebellion.

Outside the US, in the industrialized world, IRL, it’s just normal.

I use my context menu key as the chording key to control any keyboard macro profiles, so that I can terminate, reload, summon for editing or summon a help file as needed.

There are VPNs that operate in stealth mode so they don’t look like VPN traffic as they’re being used.

Still illegal, but not detectable. No riskier than being a political activist antagonistic to the state.

I’d argue they don’t care because they aren’t issued the resources necessary to care. Our workers also don’t have enough time / energy to parent or to engage in their civic duties of working out what is in their best interests and voting accordingly. Let alone the impetus to imagine a better world and strive for it.

It’s difficult to say if this was intentional all along, or just a happy(?) accident of overworking our labor force out of sheer greed,¹ but it belies the drift of abusive systems towards greater dysfunction, which is why we need ironclad protections against labor abuse.

Not that we’re going to get it necessarily without blood…or with blood for that matter. It’s why violent revolution is on the table since the masses can’t afford the time and energy to conduct non-violent protest.

I’d credit our oppressors for being thorough, but they really aren’t all that bright, so I no longer give them the benefit of the doubt.

¹ We now have studies that show a well-treated labor force is worth the extra expense, from sheer productivity increase alone. Our upper management is just too short-sighted, too divisionist and too paranoid to bother to make their companies worth putting the effort in for, even though optimizing for profit is their job description.

If you tell the truth, I won’t get more angry.

Mostly because I’m at peak rage already.

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