During the pandemic I came out as non-binary due to my personal feelings on how I perceived myself and the way I am.

Lately over this past year I’ve been asking myself how do I feel. Many thought have been going through my head like I’d be happier if I was born a girl and I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have a vagina.

I’m also under immense stress in my personal life that may be exasperating these feelings but they existed before the stress.

My face is scraggly, my legs are a hairy mess. Thankfully I have a safe space with my wife who knows what I’m going through and a friend who listens and offers support. My biggest fear is addressing my family. My mom is still misgendering me and my trans BIL who has fully transitioned. She still lives us and I think she loves him but has fucked up ideas. My dad who has been divorced from my mom for nearly my whole life is full blood republican who believes in personal freedoms from his time in the military but I also don’t know his feelings on trans rights.

I know I’m ranting but I decided I need to crack this shell and figure things out.

I don’t know the first thing about makeup also clothes shopping is overwhelming.

  • @silentashes@sh.itjust.works
    1•1 year ago

    CW:

    • discussing additional/other causes, approaches.

    (I do not discuss the issue of transition at all, as that is not an area I am well-versed in— but I DO validate it as one legitimate option.)

    I do briefly discuss (my own experience with) possible causes of a desire for transition.… e.g., toxic masculinity culture / patriarchal colonialism.

    —— as follows:

    Unfortunately, male gender-types tend to be toxic in colonizer culture.

    It means folks who are born with that sex and/or gender…

    … tend to expect and experience both receiving and often giving, LOTS of toxicity.

    I’m so sorry you’re suffering.

    We need freedom to be our true self,

    not some toxic twisted stereotypical-performance.

    The best men I’ve known are gentle, receptive,nurturing and empathetic.

    They also enjoy physically cooperative play, or “competition” but only as a game, to build ALL players’ well-ness.

    If you believe you will be happier as a woman, I support people in their personal freedoms.

    I also want to share that, if there is one thing I have learned from counseling (not gender, to be clear, just general life-coaching / positive-psychotherapy from a fantastic child psychologist and life coach when I was growing up; and he had also been drafted in Vietnam ) …

    There are numerous paths to the top of a seeming-

    insurmountable

    mountain.