Ok, I have no idea why this bothers me and I don’t even know what to call it. My husband is a “come here” guy. Something he thinks is interesting and wants to show me - hey, come here! Nuclear apocalypse - hey, come here! Why the hell wont he just tell me why he wants me to get up, trudge to wherever he is, so that he can reveal the surprise like some sort of performative art ? I never know if it’s going to be legitimate, a disaster, or something stupid. The walk to wherever he is is insanely stressful because the whole time I’m running through all possible horrible scenarios (we’ve had a lot of issues at the house lately so I never know if I’m going to find water in the basement or raccoons in the attic or a hole in my foundation, or just him looking at a funny cat video). I’d rather he say “hey, babe, something is happening wherever/whatever, come see this.” Instead I have to have the whole performance and reveal and I fucking hate it. Anyone else know what I’m talking about or am I just mental ?
“Come here” feels unnecessarily directive to me. Like you, I’d be annoyed too if someone tried demanding my presence like that. You’re not his to command.
My wife and I, if we want the other to see something, usually just say “Hey babe - check this out”, and the other feels comfortable saying “Hang on” if they’re doing something else. If it has some urgency, we’ll add context: “Hey babe - come see what this idiot’s doing in his car out the front”. If what we want to show is portable (eg. a video on our phone) then we go to them.
Next time, I’d just respond with “What is it?”.
That’s literally the same thing
Nah, not really, but I get that it’s hard to infer tone in a written post.
I’ve been told just today that tone isn’t hard to infer from text and people who use tone markers are dumb. /s