This is a response. I guess it’s something you can do. But it doesn’t seem like it’s going to help much - it will have so many false positives cause kids, but not really be accessible in an emergency.
This is a response. I guess it’s something you can do. But it doesn’t seem like it’s going to help much - it will have so many false positives cause kids, but not really be accessible in an emergency.
Plot Twist: The panic button alerts the nearest police station to stay the fuck away from the school, cuz they might get shot there!
It also triggers a tweet asking for thoughts and prayers. Everyone talks about how useless it is when people send their thoughts and prayers after a school shooting. This way, we’ll get thoughts and prayers during the shootings!
It also auto-updates the Onion article about school shootings automatically to the current date.