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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Federal_Day7750 on 2023-08-10 18:09:56.
We’re all college students for reference.
My friend is practically in love with this one girl, who has hooked up with him a few times and from what I’ve gathered sees him as just a friend. Recently, he and I and a few other people were going to check out this new place, and he invited her to tag along.
She and I got to talking while there, and eventually she invites me to her room when we get back. She’s pretty attractive, but at the same time I knew my friend would be hurt if I slept with her, and he’s been a very good friend to me, so I declined.
The morning after, another girl that was there mentioned that the girl in question seemed all over me and asked if we fucked. I said no, and she asked how I fucked it up. I said I didn’t, she invited me to her room but I said no because I felt that would be disloyal to my friend.
She got angry and said that was a very sexist way of thinking, to think a man can have a ‘claim’ on a girl just because he likes her even if she doesn’t return the feelings. I told her it’s not that deep, I just know it would be doubly hurtful for my friend for a) the girl he loves to fuck somebody else and b) it being one of his friends to do it. That’s all.
She reiterated that it was a very sexist line of thinking and called me a huge AH. I don’t think so, I think she’s being over dramatic. AITA?
Men are demonized often, including you now. You did nothing wrong by reasoning about sex and friendship. You’re allowed to think and make decisions and it’s nobody else’s business how politically correct your thoughts and actions are.
Exactly, I turned down sex from a girl I worked with that was quite a nice person but I was more attracted to her friend who I also worked with. I doubted that her friend was aware I was interested but it wasn’t worth it for many reasons.