I have occasional bathroom issues caused by food sensitivities (damn your delicious yet toxic nature, nacho cheese).

These bathroom issues involves pooping a bunch of times in one day. The frequent pooping and wiping severely irritate my poor butthole, aggravating hemorrhoids and anal fissures.

I know lots of people around here swear by the miracle of bidets, but before I start shopping around, I’m wondering if there are any naysayers out there who just don’t like bidets, along with why that’s the case.

Bonus question: how do I use a bidet? Most of the instructions I’ve found are a bit delicate about the details. Anyone want to give me a detailed description of how and what to do?

My swollen, bloody anus thanks you.

  • @clive@sh.itjust.works
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    171 year ago

    I am not a naysayer so I cant answer that part of your question, but as for what I do with our bidet: theres a little knob that I turn that starts the water spray at my butt, sometimes I might have to adjust the way Im sitting for it to hit the right area. For regular poops I spray for only a few seconds, but for gnarly ones I might do 10-20 seconds with some moving around to cover the whole area. Once I consider myself sprayed, I grab a few squares of TP and wipe to dry. Flush, wash hands, done

    • wilberfan
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      81 year ago

      Yes, this is the procedure. I would miss my bidet if it went away. And the cold water doesn’t bother me–it’s rather bracing and refreshing!

      The only thing I would change about mine is that I wish I could fine-tune the pressure dial. There’s a very small range between “OFF” and “FIREHOSE”–but I have the basic, entry-level model.

    • radix
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      1 year ago

      The knob can also control the strength of the stream; if I recall correctly, digital bidets’ (the kind with warming and a whole set of buttons) spray strength options are more discrete. Maximum intensity is too much for me, but if you have an analog bidet, then turning the knob only a little and adjusting the way I sit as needed is quite effective.

      • @poppy@lemm.ee
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        21 year ago

        I truly don’t want to meet the person with the butthole than can withstand my bidet’s max stream. Mine has like 7+ dots to mark intensity and I can barely go to 2 and I feel like I’ll start striping skin anything higher. Idk maybe it’s for hairy butts?? If so then I understand, but that pressure on raw hole is scary.