Something I’ve always wondered is what kind of women were in the lives of incel men when they were young. Did they have a bad relationship with their mother? Did they lack sisters or other female family members? Or is their family situation irrelevant? Maybe some particular situation in their early years caused them to develop a complex around women?

  • Chetzemoka
    link
    fedilink
    25
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    Feminism does not exclude men.

    The media like to talk about how you now have sex at 11

    What?

    Now men are completely helpless.

    WHAT?

    How can you think so poorly of men, to believe their only purpose in life is finding a sex partner, and blame feminism for anything? Maybe learn to respect yourself and realize that you have value and things to contribute to this world that don’t have anything to do with romantic relationships.

    • @bouh@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      101 year ago

      I hope you realize that this very message of yours is asking men to man up and stop complaining. You are hereby promoting toxic masculinity.

      • Chetzemoka
        link
        fedilink
        91 year ago

        Lmfao, if you’re not capable of seeing the gulf of difference between “hey man, never express any emotion ever” and “hey adult, take some responsibility for your feelings and work on yourself” then I can’t help you.

        • @bouh@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          21 year ago

          I don’t need the help of someone who doesn’t want to understand.

          And you know what? That’s exactly the problem incels face: the only people trying to help them are like them, so mostly unable to help, and fascists, your enemy and mine.

          But keep growing the ranks of your enemies. It’s not like if fascism was at our doorsteps…

          • Chetzemoka
            link
            fedilink
            2
            edit-2
            1 year ago

            Excuse me? I have to save “incels” or the fascists will win? What is this nonsense?

            Incel is not a word I would ever use to describe even one individual, let alone an entire group. You know why? Because I have more respect for people than that. Maybe you should too.

            You literally said “men are helpless” and yes, you are correct that I am unable to help anyone who claims that they are helpless.

            • @bouh@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              31 year ago

              When you respect people, you try to understand them. You are not doing that here. You are merely bitching, offended that I, a man, dared to criticise feminism.

    • @bouh@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      81 year ago

      Maybe some people want romantic relationships.

      Women fought to have the lives of men: a public, non romantic life, and that’s an excellent thing.

      Many men today want romantic relationships. How is this a bad thing? What kind of monster are you to say that a man should suck it up and forget any idea of intimacy or romantic relationship with a woman?

      This is exactly the reason why these people turn incels or machists. And you’re not worth more than them.

      I don’t blame feminism. I don’t blame the left. I point at their shortcomings. You can’t build a world of equality of you don’t include men.

      The future is together.

      • Chetzemoka
        link
        fedilink
        7
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        Please point to exactly where I said that. It’s fine to want a romantic relationship. But if anyone - man or woman or anything in between - defines their entire self-worth on that one single thing, then they’re going to have a very bad time in life. Relationships end. People die. If the only thing you can see yourself as is the partner to another person and you lose (or can’t get) that other person, then you’re lost.

        Work on being whole yourself and defining your value to and for your own self. Work, art, skilled hobbies, charity, friends, family. All of these things can provide value to your community. Find self worth outside of romantic relationships is the best advice for anyone in the world, even people who are currently in romantic relationships.

        • @thenightisdark@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          4
          edit-2
          1 year ago

          What you call lost is the very definition of human.

          Looking for a relationship is not lost it is the most human thing to do.

          What is more human than finding another human to procreate with?

          Everything else you mention all valuable is secondary to social. The cruelest thing you can do to a human is to put them in solitary confinement.

          • Chetzemoka
            link
            fedilink
            51 year ago

            Bro, you are going to have a difficult life, if you think of existing in your community as solitary confinement. I’d advise you to go get involved in something. Go find a maker space to volunteer at, volunteer at the library, talk to your neighbors, join some kind of outdoor activity group.

            You can do all of this while ALSO trying to date. You can (and should) do this kind of stuff even after you get married. You can’t just sit around feeling bitter and expect a relationship to solve that for you. That right there is a perfect recipe for a relationship that will fail. You have to be your own person even when you’re in a relationship.

            There’s more to “being social” than just finding a person to have sex with you and calling it a day.

            • @thenightisdark@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              21 year ago

              “existing in your community as solitary confinement.” – Chetzemoka

              What a strange take. Isn’t this a contradiction? Anyways I just want to point out that this is… A wrong take. Very strange and very wrong take.

              Just know that being social is being human. You seem to forget that at times.