• DarkThoughts@fedia.io
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    8 months ago

    Congrats on completely avoiding the point I was making. You’re outright telling someone you’re poly, because you know the expectation is that you’re not, because it isn’t the norm.

    • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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      8 months ago

      Decent point, but I also think it’s good to explicitly discuss monogamy as well. Even if you don’t use that word but only say “are we in a relationship”, it’s good to define the moment when the exclusivity begins.

      For example I’ve had one date with a woman, and she was busy on my second attempt. I’d love to see her again but I’m unsure whether I will. Would I be a cheater if I went on a date with another woman right now?

      • DarkThoughts@fedia.io
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        8 months ago

        If you didn’t enter a relationship with them, then it is not technically cheating. However, if you really like them to a point where you’d like to be in a relationship with them, then the decent & morally right thing would still be to wait with dating other people. This is similar to people who just broke up. You’re expected to still have emotional feelings to your former partner and while you’re technically single now it would still be very weird if you’d just hop onto the next person because it questions the honesty behind your feelings for said person. It’s simply decency, not just towards others, but also towards yourself. Either way, in your example I would at the very least communicate whether they’d be okay with you dating other people if you’re at a point where there’s clearly something going on between the two of you.

    • exocrinous@startrek.website
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      8 months ago

      No, I’ve actually only ever had two partners who were monoamorous by default. The first two. Everyone afterwards immediately knew I was poly without having to be told. And was poly too. I mean I would have asked them to consent to being metamours with all my existing partners anyway so definitely no cheating since you brought that weird point up. But if you’re now deciding the point is people’s assumptions, everyone I know assumes people are poly. If someone in my circles is monoam they actually have it listed in their bio so everyone knows not to flirt with them.

      Sounds like I just have gayer friends than you do and you’re assuming everyone is like your boring friends.

      Do you even have any otherkin friends?

      • DarkThoughts@fedia.io
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        8 months ago

        Everyone afterwards immediately knew I was poly without having to be told.

        I guess you’re all mind readers huh?

        If someone in my circles is monoam they actually have it listed in their bio

        Why would they do that?

        Sounds like I just have gayer friends than you do and you’re assuming everyone is like your boring friends.

        The fuck does that even mean?

        Do you even have any otherkin friends?

        Do you even do therapy? Jesus fuck. You’ve gotta be trolling.