• small_crow@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      25
      ·
      1 year ago

      I came to the comments for an explanation because I completely missed the age labels, so thank you.

    • metiulekm@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      15
      ·
      1 year ago

      Honestly I’ve unironically missed the entirety of the image at first, I went directly to the text. And probably a lot of internet-savvy people would, this kind of image is useless decoration 90% of the time and people are trained to not look at it. Same concept as in that research where they asked people to find the current population number on a webpage and they had a very hard time, despite the value being in big red digits or something equally distinctive.

    • ALostInquirer@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      When it’s concerning a brain fart, should it instead be a nice green cloud-shaped outline around the relevant part?

    • cryshlee@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      13
      ·
      1 year ago

      This is the second time this week I’ve ever heard this phrase in my entire life. I feel like I know what it means but I’m afraid to ask

      • Cabrio@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        24
        ·
        1 year ago

        It’s a horse riding addage, a horse ridden hard gets dirty and messy, put away wet means it doesn’t get cleaned. Basically a dirty worn old looking horse.

        • Tb0n3@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          10
          ·
          edit-2
          1 year ago

          I think it’s more the riding gear than the horse. You’ll get a rotten saddle pretty quick when the leather gets waterlogged and not taken care of.

          • Cabrio@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            4
            ·
            edit-2
            1 year ago

            You can Google it you know! It’s about the horse. That’s how I found out, it’s amazing the things you don’t need an opinion on when factual information is at our fingertips.

  • CIWS-30@kbin.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    59
    ·
    1 year ago

    Good advice from 1901. Especially the bit about not marrying women older, taller, or wealthier than you. Especially all 3. Even if she’s like 1 day older, 1 inch taller, or $1 wealthier than you. You gotta man up and not tie that knot!

    /S

    • 1chemistdown@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      20
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      They will not say “what does ring mean?” They’ll look you in the eye and shout “I don’t understand your dated cultural references old man!!”

  • Chickenstalker@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    29
    ·
    1 year ago

    If both parties are 18 and above, it is none of our business. Many men are into cougars and many women like sugar daddies. Whatever floats their boat.

    • Noughmad@programming.dev
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      26
      ·
      1 year ago

      Legally, yes. You can’t and shouldn’t prevent them from dating.

      But, it’s still creepy, it’s usually still predatory, and there can be a huge power imbalance. Basically, the main thing is whether either person can easily leave at any time - often the younger one can’t.

      • corm@sopuli.xyz
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        14
        ·
        1 year ago

        How is that any different than 18 year olds getting an apartment together and being too broke to easily move out if needed? And there are plenty of older people in the same boat financially. In fact most people live paycheck to paycheck.

        I guess what you really mean is that poor people should only date other poor people, to make it a fair power balance. /s

      • LonelyWendigo@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        9
        ·
        1 year ago

        I don’t know man. If at 50 I ran into a 20 something that was into dating me, I’d feel more like prey than a predator. But, who am I kidding? If the roles were reversed and I was a 20 something encountering a 50+ cougar, I’d still feel like prey. It’s definitely all about power dynamics, but I don’t think making assumptions about adult people’s situations based on age alone is appropriate or helpful.

    • ryathal@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      Legally yes. Socially dating someone in the same life stage as you is the line. The half your age plus 7 rule roughly aligns to that.

  • Resol van Lemmy@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    28
    ·
    1 year ago

    And if you’re 18, you can only date someone who is exactly 18. Can’t go any lower or any higher.

    Idk who told this to me, but what a weird contradiction. I guess it sorta makes sense.

    • Iron Lynx@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      31
      ·
      1 year ago

      Nope. If your age minimum for a partner y is determined by your age x with the function:

      y = 1/2 x + 7

      then the point where y = x is at y - 7 = 1/2 x. Setting y to x leads us to x - 7 = x / 2, which happens at x = 14.

      At x = 18, y = 18/2 + 7 = 9 + 7 = 16.

      Relatedly, if we invert the function, y - 7 = 1/2 x, thus 2y - 14 = x, which gives us the theoretical maximum for a possible partner. If a possible partner is older than that, you’d be understood to call them a cougar, or whatever the male equivalent is.

      • JakenVeina@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        7
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        The opposite of age/2+7 is (age-7)*2, not age*2-7. I.E. the min age for a 29-year-old would be 21, not 18, and the age whose min is 18, I.E. the max for an 18-year-old, would be 22.

      • Laticauda@lemmy.ca
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        That max age formula is pointless and contradicts the minimum age formula. For 29 the min age based on the min age equation is 21.5 which I’d say can be rounded up to 22, which sounds more reasonable than a 29 year old dating an 18 year old, which isn’t illegal sure, but I’m sure plenty of people would be raising an eyebrow at it.

        That max age equation would mean that a max age for 14 would be 21. In contrast the min age for a 21 year old is 17.5, which can be rounded up to 18. Yymv on that one in particular, but I’m sure we can all agree that a 21 year old dating an 18 year old is a lot less sus than them dating a 14 year old. The minimum age formula seems fine enough on its own, not necessarily a universal rule but enough of a guideline to go by generally. If you want to calculate based on the younger age, just re-arrange the formula. With the older age being AgeO and the younger age being ageY, you go from ageY = (AgeO/2) + 7 to AgeO = (ageY - 7)*2.

      • Laticauda@lemmy.ca
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        1 year ago

        The max age formula is pointless and contradicts the minimum age formula. For 29 the min age based on the min age equation is 21.5 which I’d say can be rounded up to 22, which sounds more reasonable than a 29 year old dating an 18 year old, which isn’t illegal sure, but I’m sure plenty of people would be raising an eyebrow at it.

        That max age equation would mean that a max age for 14 would be 21. In contrast the min age for a 21 year old is 17.5, which can be rounded up to 18. Yymv on that one in particular, but I’m sure we can all agree that a 21 year old dating an 18 year old is a lot less sus than them dating a 14 year old. The minimum age formula seems fine enough on its own, not necessarily a universal rule but enough of a guideline to go by.

    • LakesLem@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      This (within reason and legality obviously)

      It’s a case by case thing. Admittedly I’m defending myself here as I’m 41 dating 25 and I will never assume to be a good person or doing the right thing but am at least trying. Basically minding and respecting the gap but allowing the fact we fell in love to go ahead and happen.

      • Both guys (idk, I heard age gaps are more common with gays anyway?)
      • He was the one to approach me and ask me out, I’d thought about it but was reluctant to, turned out he got there first
      • I check regularly that he’s happy and remind him of where the difference will be in 9 years for example
      • It’s an open relationship, largely for his benefit and freedom (of course I get some fun too) and heck we’re not actually all that sexual between ourselves
      • I’m not in any rush to pin him down, and often say he’s free to do what he wants, enjoy the 20s fully and decide for himself if he wants a future with me or not. If one day he finds someone closer in terms of age or distance and wants to let me go, of course I’ll be heartbroken but love and want the best for him so would respect the decision - hopefully ultimately remaining friends and lives made richer than when we started.
      • To be honest, whilst I know it’s not a good thing, I’m a late bloomer, so in various ways kind of like the same age but sadly in an older body

      I’m not gonna be like “oh I’m a good person so it’s fine”, I don’t know that. I might be an asshole. I can only try, based on things like the above, hopefully without being labelled something nasty.

      (Who am I defending against anyway? Probably my own conscience.)

  • thanevim@kbin.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    1 year ago

    With how stressful things have been lately? I might just look like that in just under a decade…

    • theodewere@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      maybe 1987 was a weak batch or something, and they’re aging prematurely… i don’t have any data to support that…

      • Yendor@reddthat.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        12
        ·
        1 year ago

        They started high-school just after Columbine, they were trying to get through high-school when 9/11 happened, they were trying to start their careers when the GFC came along, and they were trying to get married when COVID hit. Late-80s babies can’t catch a break.

        • theodewere@kbin.social
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          7
          ·
          1 year ago

          no i agree 100%, i feel for them… i honestly can’t tell you how sick i am about it… Columbine was enough…

      • Cabrio@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        1 year ago

        You might be onto something, I’m from around that time period, balding at 20, grey hairs in my beard for the last 3 years…

        • theodewere@kbin.social
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          edit-2
          1 year ago

          we may have accidentally released some weird chemicals or something that year… that was when all the Star Wars SDI stuff was happening, it’s hard to say what we were up to… i’m sorry dude… blame Reagan…

  • LakesLem@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    41 dating 25, we’re both happy but guess I should hand myself in somewhere ;~;

    But yeah definitely looking younger than 36 based on these standards 😅