Creepy guy uses excuse of autism to justify being creepy despite clear verbal instructions and explanation.
Autism is not an excuse to be act however you want, people give you leeway not free lichence. Failing to pick up cues is one thing but you don’t need emotional intelligence to know that following someone around like that is not acceptable behavior. None of my medically diagnosed autistic friends stalk girls and they’d all understand clear and direct instructions.
My dude, the social que was missed.
It was not verbalized what she wanted.
The average person may have gotten the social que. But I did not, i missed it completely, which to some credit i should have inquired more about.
But hindsight is 20/20, i understand alot more social ques as i have aged and gain experience. And this is a constant reminder, on troubles i face on the daily. Being autistic isnt a vilification for any action, but it also needs to be takin into account. And what the persons original intent was aswell as where they are on the spectrum.
Saying autism is a lump some cover for hanus intent is a lie and dispicable
But just like how autism is a spectrum and not just one diagnosis, there should be a moving range of understanding.
“High-functioning autism was historically an autism classification where a person exhibits no intellectual disability, but may experience difficulty in communication, emotion recognition, expression, and social interaction.”
In this refrence from wikipedia, it clearly states high functioning autsim stuggles with communication, and this true.
I do not tell alot of people im autistic because many people see autism as down syndrome. Which i sympathize for but try to inform them that autism is a spectrum. Many people including close friends didnt believe me when i said i was autistic. Because in qoute “i didnt act weird” i have grown alot as a person through out the years and appreciate all the effort from my family and therapists to get to this point.
There are still certain textures and sounds that upset me, but i can now tolorate them.
She explicitly told you that you were creepy and to stop stalking her. I don’t know what more you could expect from someone. You don’t get to decide if your behavior makes someone else uncomfortable or not.
I suggest you reread, i do agree autism is not blanket excuse. However i did explain in detail that i was not stalking, or following her around in a creepy manor. I did this to ALL my friends, and all interactions where consentual. I did not harras or berate anyone who didnt want to talk. Many interactions included the phrase “do you want to chat on the way to class” to which i forgot to add for better context.
Also for better clarity
(Girl) never said to fuck off
(Girls friend) did.
If (girl) wanted me to fuck off she should have self advocated and say i dont want to be friends with you.
Because as stated “shes didnt want to be Romantic and just wanted to be friends” to which i did stop saying she looked niced and other things that could be takin as Romantic, and simply had small talk, asking about her day, talking about teachers and upcoming assignments.
Also i must add using autism as a lump sum to cover up creepy shit is not right.
But i find rather moronic in your use case as you lump “all my autistic friends dont do that”
May i remind you that autism is a spectrum, not one person is the exact as the other. And added context would be beneficial if they were also high functioning. Comparing people on the spectrum is rarely ever apple to apples.
“My one autistic friend starts screaming and crying when his peas touch his corn on his plate”
Compared to
“My friend misses social ques and struggles with communication”
“High-functioning autism was historically an autism classification where a person exhibits no intellectual disability, but may experience difficulty in communication, emotion recognition, expression, and social interaction.”
Creepy guy uses excuse of autism to justify being creepy despite clear verbal instructions and explanation.
Autism is not an excuse to be act however you want, people give you leeway not free lichence. Failing to pick up cues is one thing but you don’t need emotional intelligence to know that following someone around like that is not acceptable behavior. None of my medically diagnosed autistic friends stalk girls and they’d all understand clear and direct instructions.
Didja try reading the entire post?
This one is the part where he should have stopped talking to her.
ASD here and i can absolutely see how that was presented to OP as and read as a misunderstanding that required clarification
My dude, the social que was missed. It was not verbalized what she wanted. The average person may have gotten the social que. But I did not, i missed it completely, which to some credit i should have inquired more about. But hindsight is 20/20, i understand alot more social ques as i have aged and gain experience. And this is a constant reminder, on troubles i face on the daily. Being autistic isnt a vilification for any action, but it also needs to be takin into account. And what the persons original intent was aswell as where they are on the spectrum.
Saying autism is a lump some cover for hanus intent is a lie and dispicable But just like how autism is a spectrum and not just one diagnosis, there should be a moving range of understanding.
“High-functioning autism was historically an autism classification where a person exhibits no intellectual disability, but may experience difficulty in communication, emotion recognition, expression, and social interaction.” In this refrence from wikipedia, it clearly states high functioning autsim stuggles with communication, and this true. I do not tell alot of people im autistic because many people see autism as down syndrome. Which i sympathize for but try to inform them that autism is a spectrum. Many people including close friends didnt believe me when i said i was autistic. Because in qoute “i didnt act weird” i have grown alot as a person through out the years and appreciate all the effort from my family and therapists to get to this point. There are still certain textures and sounds that upset me, but i can now tolorate them.
She explicitly told you that you were creepy and to stop stalking her. I don’t know what more you could expect from someone. You don’t get to decide if your behavior makes someone else uncomfortable or not.
I suggest you reread, i do agree autism is not blanket excuse. However i did explain in detail that i was not stalking, or following her around in a creepy manor. I did this to ALL my friends, and all interactions where consentual. I did not harras or berate anyone who didnt want to talk. Many interactions included the phrase “do you want to chat on the way to class” to which i forgot to add for better context.
Also for better clarity (Girl) never said to fuck off (Girls friend) did.
If (girl) wanted me to fuck off she should have self advocated and say i dont want to be friends with you.
Because as stated “shes didnt want to be Romantic and just wanted to be friends” to which i did stop saying she looked niced and other things that could be takin as Romantic, and simply had small talk, asking about her day, talking about teachers and upcoming assignments.
Also i must add using autism as a lump sum to cover up creepy shit is not right. But i find rather moronic in your use case as you lump “all my autistic friends dont do that”
May i remind you that autism is a spectrum, not one person is the exact as the other. And added context would be beneficial if they were also high functioning. Comparing people on the spectrum is rarely ever apple to apples. “My one autistic friend starts screaming and crying when his peas touch his corn on his plate” Compared to “My friend misses social ques and struggles with communication”
Also via wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-functioning_autism
“High-functioning autism was historically an autism classification where a person exhibits no intellectual disability, but may experience difficulty in communication, emotion recognition, expression, and social interaction.”
Good day,