• Thorny_Thicket@sopuli.xyz
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    1 year ago

    I still don’t get how misgendering makes makes one a transphobe. If you look like a woman I’ll call you a woman but I do it not because I have to but because I generally try and be polite. However when we start policing language and demanding to be called this and that is when I sign out. It has nothing to do with not liking trans people. Atleast not in my case.

    • Veraticus@lib.lgbt
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      1 year ago

      Misgendering someone is transphobic in exactly the same way that calling them the n-word is racist. It means you are prejudiced against that person for what makes them different — in this case it just sounds like you believe trans people don’t exist or are mentally ill members of their birth gender.

      So yes, it means you are transphobic and you should self-reflect on improving that.

      • wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        1 year ago

        What? Pronouns are not slurs in and of themselves, like the n-word is. They are perfectly fine to use and inoffensive in something like 97% of human interactions. The n-word is not.

        How do they suddenly change to something as horrible as the n-word when you use the wrong one with someone you’ve never met before who outwardly presents as the pronoun you use, but internally has decided they are a different one?

        There’s a big problem where people use the term “misgendering” as equivalent to “intentional misgendering”. One can be an honest mistake, the other is bigotry.

        • Veraticus@lib.lgbt
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          1 year ago

          The n-word is not a slur “in and of itself” either; people can use it in non-pejorative situations… just as pronouns. The problem is the words being used to rob people of their dignity by invoking their minority status against them.

          So yes, in that context, pronouns can be slurs against trans people.

          No one is railing against “unintentional misgendering,” which happens to everyone. Though if you aren’t sure, non-gendered pronouns are a perfectly suitable alternative.

          • Whirlybird@aussie.zone
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            1 year ago

            The n-word is not a slur “in and of itself” either; people can use it in non-pejorative situations… just as pronouns.

            No, it’s definitely a slur “in and of itself”. You’re fighting a losing battle here, you’re 100% wrong.

      • Thorny_Thicket@sopuli.xyz
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        1 year ago

        in this case it just sounds like you believe trans people don’t exist or are mentally ill members of their birth gender.

        Are you okay? I’m pretty sure trans people exist. That’s the weirdest accusation I’ve heard for a while. What are they holograms then?

        • Veraticus@lib.lgbt
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          1 year ago

          No, as I said, your argument is that they aren’t really the gender that they say they are, but whatever gender you say they are. That’s claiming they aren’t actually trans, which is denying the existence of trans people… which is transphobic.

          • Thorny_Thicket@sopuli.xyz
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            1 year ago

            I don’t agree with that.

            It’s not their gender I have issues with. You can claim to be anything you want and I’m fine by that. It’s only when people start demanding special treatment when I stop being nice.

            In my native language there is no even he/she pronoun. The word is “hän” and it’s gender neutral. You can be male, female, FTM, MTF, non-binary or what ever and you’re still called “hän”. That is what inclusivity looks like. Progress is caring less about ones race and gender - not more.

            • Veraticus@lib.lgbt
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              1 year ago

              It doesn’t matter if you agree with it or not; the definition of transphobia does not depend on your agreement. Simply that you act transphobic, which you do. (And respecting other people as long as they’re nice to you is a really crappy way to act. People deserve respect for who they are even if they won’t gratify your ego.)

              Luckily for queer people, progress can actually be made by caring about your sexuality and gender. Imagine if what you said was actually true, what an awful dystopia we’d be living in!

              • Whirlybird@aussie.zone
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                1 year ago

                the definition of transphobia does not depend on your agreement

                If you’re going to go by definitions then you have to have the element of “fear” in there. You’re scared of trans people - that’s what the “phobia” part means. Are you saying that people that disagree with biological men participating in womens sport are scared of trans people?

        • Khotetsu@lib.lgbt
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          1 year ago

          Ask the groups of conservatives arguing that trans people are either just a trend, a cult of pedophiles trying to groom your kids, a cult trying to destroy young girls wombs or perform life changing surgery on children, or any of a number of other accusations that say that trans people don’t exist, including the two they mentioned. These are the kinds of “anti-LGBT arguments” that they claim are being censored.

          • Whirlybird@aussie.zone
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            1 year ago

            or any of a number of other accusations that say that trans people don’t exist

            Can you actually show us some evidence to support what you’re saying here? No one says “trans people don’t exist”.

      • Whirlybird@aussie.zone
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        1 year ago

        Misgendering someone is transphobic in exactly the same way that calling them the n-word is racist. It means you are prejudiced against that person for what makes them different — in this case it just sounds like you believe trans people don’t exist or are mentally ill members of their birth gender.

        You’re taking the piss here, right?

        Misgendering someone is in no way the same as calling a black person the n-word lol. It would be more like calling them a “tranny” is the closest equivalent, though no equivalent to the n-word exists.

        Misgendering is, at worst, rude. That’s assuming that they have told you their “pronouns” in the first place, and you chose not to use them. Rude, but in no way equivalent to calling a black person the n-word. It doesn’t mean you’re “prejudiced” against that person, it just means you either don’t play along with coerced speech or their ideology, or you just don’t care.