People who live lives that require clever uses and interpretations of language get stuck on my shit a lot. I’m rarely trying to be clever, I favor being as literal and straightforward as i can, but I like using words in weird ways and subconsciously i construct puns and wordplay without thinking too hard when i’m relaxed. So misinterpretation is normal. That’s fine, I’m not good at all that. Clarifying usually helps. Most people aren’t looking to grudgefuck you over word choice. I feel like that’s a more autistic reaction though. I guess some allistic types but neurotyps more generally just glaze over if i talk about anything i give a shit about. Oh you managed to ask about something I really love, time to absolutely not give a shit while I spew out reams of words you were never going to engage with. Kind of like the brain turns off and they assert whatever conversational autopiloting is going on in their heads. Tiresome, expected, same shit different day.
lately it’s like, oh yeah I can now see how the words i chose can be read that way, but at this point intent matters right, like i’m trying to say what i’m trying to say, and I have to be really, really emotionally compromised to not be trying for love and kindness.
If clarifying doesn’t help i tend to let things die. Like if I love you and care about you maybe I back off and try to re-negotiate, because i despise having bad blood that’s not intended, but if I don’t have a reason to do that, idk most people are ghosts in my life, and I in theirs - it’s easier to mentally write them off and hurry along to the part of my life where I forget they exist.
As for whether my voice is offensive, it can really depend because I know that when I’m aggrieved I paint it with every brush I have. I can make myself insufferable, unpleasant, all of that as easily as I can not do that. I’m sure people hate my voice, and others love it. I dislike the pitch a fair bit but nobody I give a shit about is going to start treating me differently just because i have a T-ravaged voice box.
People who live lives that require clever uses and interpretations of language get stuck on my shit a lot. I’m rarely trying to be clever, I favor being as literal and straightforward as i can, but I like using words in weird ways and subconsciously i construct puns and wordplay without thinking too hard when i’m relaxed. So misinterpretation is normal. That’s fine, I’m not good at all that. Clarifying usually helps. Most people aren’t looking to grudgefuck you over word choice. I feel like that’s a more autistic reaction though. I guess some allistic types but neurotyps more generally just glaze over if i talk about anything i give a shit about. Oh you managed to ask about something I really love, time to absolutely not give a shit while I spew out reams of words you were never going to engage with. Kind of like the brain turns off and they assert whatever conversational autopiloting is going on in their heads. Tiresome, expected, same shit different day.
lately it’s like, oh yeah I can now see how the words i chose can be read that way, but at this point intent matters right, like i’m trying to say what i’m trying to say, and I have to be really, really emotionally compromised to not be trying for love and kindness.
If clarifying doesn’t help i tend to let things die. Like if I love you and care about you maybe I back off and try to re-negotiate, because i despise having bad blood that’s not intended, but if I don’t have a reason to do that, idk most people are ghosts in my life, and I in theirs - it’s easier to mentally write them off and hurry along to the part of my life where I forget they exist.
As for whether my voice is offensive, it can really depend because I know that when I’m aggrieved I paint it with every brush I have. I can make myself insufferable, unpleasant, all of that as easily as I can not do that. I’m sure people hate my voice, and others love it. I dislike the pitch a fair bit but nobody I give a shit about is going to start treating me differently just because i have a T-ravaged voice box.