Dogpiles - Lemmy.one

So I’m sure a lot of us have been dog-piled before, where several people are jumping down your throat or demanding things of you and even in the best of times it would be hard to keep up but now you’re in crisis, etc. It devolves into being the ‘lolcow’ for those present, especially if you’re like me and can struggle to disengage and sometimes lash out especially when spurred on so it gets funnier the more people fuck with me, how cool!

I’ve dog-piled people, too.

I enjoyed doing it many times and only regretfully recently did I realize what I was doing, and the hurt I’d caused all those times.

I realized what I was really doing once a couple of years ago when WAY too late, after the dust had already settled and all the distress had already been caused when I went back for MORE like some kind of ghoul did I realize it was just a person who, just like me, me who struggled to disengage and due to the frantic pace and number of participants in the argument couldn’t reevaluate or think or process and of course they just kept doubling down, and miscommunication on top of miscommunication to boot… it was bad, and gross, and it was my fault. I was the person who started the argument with them, in the end it had all been a miscommunication, we set up alternate definitions for central vocabulary in the argument very early on and didn’t realize we were talking past each other, and neither did all of the NT’s who joined in to dunk on the weird wrong internet loser, poke them more and laugh when they get upset and say more funny wrong things

I felt and still feel bad about my active participation, and worse the joy it brought me, I was there too, dunking on some lib with my friends, how fun! except it wasn’t fun and cool, it was trapping someone in our little arena and watching them gladiator battle for us. Most of the people who were joining in with me were NT, and I was the one who slammed the gate on them after leading them into the arena

That said, I would not have any sympathy whatsoever if this happened to a proud zionist who says the quiet part out loud, but I think its a fucked up pattern that exists broadly throughout contemporary English speaking internet, and even (gasp!) within the culture here on hexbear. It does still make me uneasy, as we all know how quick that can be used on us and not because we support genocide, but because of a faux pax or other NT social bullshit, or just a straight up misunderstandings that are perfectly reasonable to have happen to a person sometimes.

It should only be employed carefully to remove poisonous people from the community as self defense, preventing us becoming a nazi bar for example, but its use should be conscious, not wanton. People should KNOW that they are dogpiling, and what that implies, and the dangers that holds for their neurodiverse comrades who could get caught in the crossfire if they start doing it when the stakes aren’t ‘make nazis get the fuck out’ but ‘this person is dumb and fun to fuck with’

I made this post because I almost did it again, when I saw that fuckin AOC stanning loser who was arguing with dozens of people, one of which was that shared bureaucracy account that half a dozen different people were using and replying to all of their comments across the entire comment tree, and how they had been posting continuously for hours and hours in a row, like, probably not a neurotypical person here right? When I saw the thread there were people saying stuff like “lmao he’s still posting? It’s been hours!” and I’ve totally been there so it just makes my stomach twist a bit. I couldn’t help but think of the times I had hurt people and how it looked a lot like that (they weren’t nearly as wrong as this guy tho I mean cmon, AOC? That’s where I draw the line) I almost went in and started adding my own comments, dancing on the grave, but realized I was doing the same fucking thing again, reinforcing the same harmful norms and behaviors, even though this person is a loser that likes AOC. Again I wanna emphasize, wah their feelings got hurt because they have terrible politics, this case is kind of riding the line because it is really only occurring because the person has terrible politics, but I also don’t like that there’s no emergency brake or tolerance built into the system to allow for neurodivergent people who mean well and want to learn and be better, like how I like to think I did

I’m also not saying get rid of dunking culture generally, I actually kind of like it in the form of taking an incidence of someone saying or doing bad politics, and then us collectively mocking and deconstructing the bad politics and putting forth the correct, or possible, alternatives. This is politically useful, very fun, and importantly doesn’t trap the target of the mockery and arguments IN the post, getting tormented in the comments drowned between a dozen simultaneous arguments. I think that’s an important difference.

I usually feel a bit disappointed when I see a big comment tree and all the comments are removed and the person got banned pretty quickly, but I’m starting to think that’s safer as a moderation strategy. I hadn’t thought about that until writing this post and thinking about that AOC stan and how the mods explicitly didn’t ban and remove their posts so we could go to town (no shade on the mod its the expected culture and I didn’t even question it until just now either). Idunno, another adjacent thought there for ya

anyway, am I being a pissbaby about this? Is this an example of how dog-pile culture hurts neurodivergent people and doesn’t always discriminate between friend and foe, and how fostering this kind of culture is hostile to the inclusion of neurodivergent people broadly? I accidentally wrote a giant post again and I rearranged and added to things as I went so it’s probably hard to follow good luck I hope I went somewhere with it 👍