As a blind man, I know I am usually attracted to the sound of a woman’s voice. It’s usually just the way they say a specific word or syllable, like “uh huh”. However I find this almost never happens with people in the “real world”. It only happens with voice actors, other performers, and people who are completely unavailable. I know that sighted people are usually attracted to one another by a person’s physical appearance, at least initially. For blind people, attraction is based on voice or touch, and touch is a big no-no most of the time. The one time I dated a woman who was blind, we were touching each other toward the end of our first date, which was quite an eye-opener, figuratively speaking. Online dating has become so visual that I’ve all but abandoned it. I have felt starved for arousal as someone who lives on my own because of this. Have any other blind people found they rarely feel attraction in the real world?
I’m not blind, but to me this seems analogous to when sighted people watch too much popular media and struggle to find normal looking people attractive, or even to the similar situation with some people expecting sexual partners to act like porn actors.
If it’s the same kind of thing, it may help to take a break from media with voice actors, and get more non-romantic voice-based socialization, even if it’s just Discord or whatever people use these days, just to help reset your idea of normal.
Just to add on, and I hope I’m wording this well enough… It can also be a bad focus as a result of desperation. Some people (far too many) hyper-focus on what signs to look for which indicate that the other is interested during the early stages.
Just for the sake of an obvious example, people will even debate whether it’s good to text others multiple times without response! Everyone is reading waaaaay too much in to signs instead of just looking for someone they click with and like talking to.
This could be a subconscious expectation that those “sincere” (or which ever exact quality OP likes) inflections are the best sign of interest, when that’s simply not the case IRL. … I realize that’s similar to the porn expectation, but this one comes from a much more common mode of thought.
Yeah, there’s quite a difference between regular people and experienced voice actors who’ve been properly recorded and edited. Like how there’s a huge difference between regular people and big actors with personal trainers, makeup and cinematography on top.
There’s nothing wrong with any of that, but I agree that this could be an issue.
In general, I think it’s important to understand people as complete and complex and not to narrow them down to a single characteristic or element. You always want to look for broader compatibility in a partner.
I’ve heard interviews with Catherine Disher and Mary Elizabeth McLin and thought both of them sounded super sexy even when just speaking in a normal voice. I actually met Mary at a comic con before i’d heard any of her voice work. I didn’t tell her that, naturally! I just said “I really enjoyed your pannel, what would you recommend if I wanted to listen to some of your voicework?”