(Mar A Lago, FL) In a brief press conference Tuesday, the US president confirmed that the $175 billion appropriated for the Golden Dome system over the next 3 years is actually budgeted for a “golden do me,” which he explained as, “well a blond girl, and she’s very nice, very lovely… well she has a serious task ahead of her, and she works for her money, folks… there are no hand outs. I mean she has her hand out, but there are no hand outs, I can tell you this.”

Blond press secretary Karoline Leavitt was unable to comment due to prior commitments in the trump white house.