Want to know some of the weird and wrong things you believed back then. I used to believe a lot of dumb things, some of them were dumb in a funny way, others in a hurtful right wing way, but many of those things were wrong and pretty dumb looking back.
that i would still feel the same inside just look more how i wanted.
Do you mean you feel different now? In what way?
I feel so different it’s astonishing. I’m dialing in my HRT for mono therapy right now and I was able to tell when I had test in me because it changes the nature of my thoughts!
In general i’m much calmer, more inclined to get along with my partner and family, and i just feel more connected to the things i care about. Violent thoughts/power fantasies have vanished. My partner says i’m much more mellow and cheerful and easy to get along with.
A bit of that is just depression from dysphoria being lifted but it definitely changed who I am, and much more than I thought it could. I had no idea that so much of what I thought of as personality came from hormones!
The one quasi-negative is I went from horn-dog to basically asexual. Absolutely zero desire for sexual anything although i’m not repulsed just disinterested now. Having to maintain function is an absolute c h o r e.
Ah, I know what you mean. It’s so nice not to be constantly on edge. Sexual desire does come back eventually (and different!), but it takes a while.
I was almost expecting a 180° shift in perspective, kind of “this is how it feels to be a woman” and was a bit disappointed that it was still me inside. But I guess that’s validating in a way: I was actually a woman all along…