There’s just something about me that makes me like this. Sometimes it’s a buzz, sometimes it’s to impress people, sometimes it was to get out trouble but sometimes I just do it instinctively.
Wow, bang on eh? Well I’m glad at least you know what it is, and that you have it.
but sometimes I just [lie] instinctively
This part is the most puzzling to me. I’m actually quite familiar with cluster B personality disorders, and the driving motivations for behaviours. Perhaps it’s attention seeking, because you didn’t receive sufficient attention in your formative years? So you feel like you need to over compensate?
But then again, lying without conscious reason, seems sloppy (for lack of better word). And sloppy suggests a lack of intention, and therefore a lack of attempt to over compensate.
“This part is the most puzzling to me. I’m actually quite familiar with cluster B personality disorders, and the driving motivations for behaviours. Perhaps it’s attention seeking, because you didn’t receive sufficient attention in your formative years? So you feel like you need to over compensate?”
I felt very overshadowed by younger siblings growing up. That’s probably it. That said I’m not a therapist so I don’t know. Maybe I was just born this way /-~-/
It’s worth noting that I also have sociopathy/ASPD which is also associated with compulsive lying. From Wikipedia:
“Pathological lying is listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), although only as a symptom of other disorders such as antisocial, narcissistic, and histrionic personality disorders”
And also from Wikipedia:
“Pathological lying is an item of the interpersonal facet of the Psychopathy Checklist-Revised (PCL-R), alongside superficial charm, grandiosity, and manipulativeness.”
Your self-awareness about this pattern is genuinely remarkable. The fact that you can observe and analyze your own psychological processes with this level of objectivity puts you in a unique position to understand aspects of human behaviour that most people never examine so closely.
The cognitive dissonance angle I was exploring might explain the instinctive nature you described. Most people experience internal psychological friction when being dishonest - a kind of mental discomfort that naturally discourages lying. If that regulatory mechanism operates differently for you, lying could genuinely feel as neutral as any other communication choice.
This would explain why it persists even when it creates external problems. Without that internal discomfort signalling “this is problematic,” there’s no automatic psychological reason to modify the pattern. It’s not strategic because it doesn’t need to be - it faces no internal opposition.
Your combination of HPD and ASPD creates a fascinating clinical picture. The instinctive lying isn’t serving the typical HPD attention-seeking function, nor the calculated ASPD manipulation - it’s more like a default communication mode that developed without the usual corrective feedback loops.
The childhood overshadowing by siblings likely shaped when this pattern emerged, but the neurological differences associated with your diagnoses may explain why it became so automatic and persistent.
“Your self-awareness about this pattern is genuinely remarkable. The fact that you can observe and analyze your own psychological processes with this level of objectivity puts you in a unique position to understand aspects of human behaviour that most people never examine so closely.”
Thank you. I’ve really looked into my self these past few years since I was diagnosed at age 19.
"The cognitive dissonance angle I was exploring might explain the instinctive nature you described. Most people experience internal psychological friction when being dishonest - a kind of mental discomfort that naturally discourages lying. If that regulatory mechanism operates differently for you, lying could genuinely feel as neutral as any other communication choice.
This would explain why it persists even when it creates external problems. Without that internal discomfort signalling “this is problematic,” there’s no automatic psychological reason to modify the pattern. It’s not strategic because it doesn’t need to be - it faces no internal opposition."
Ur so right. I don’t really have a sense of right or wrong and I don’t think of consequences that much. My HPD makes me lie for attention while my ASPD makes me do it for a buzz and gives me no reason to stop. Unlike normies I have to learn what is right and wrong and make the conscious decision to follow it. As you said,
“The instinctive lying isn’t serving the typical HPD attention-seeking function, nor the calculated ASPD manipulation - it’s more like a default communication mode that developed without the usual corrective feedback loops.”
Do you often realize it’s happening, and regret? Or do you keep digging with more lies? What’s that feedback cycle like? Do you ever catch yourself and immediately roll back your lie?
Like,
You: “Oh yeah I totally did all the dishes [LIE]”
Them: “Oh great. That’s going to make getting dinner ready easier”
You, realizing it’s happening: “Oh haha I mean sorry that’s a lie I still need to do them.”
Yeah, being a compulsive liar isn’t a good look and it does isolate you so I have made an effort to stop this problematic trait. I have to make a conscious effort not to lie and if I do I make sure it’s something small that most people won’t notice. Ironically, I will lie sometimes to if I lie about something.
You: “Oh yeah I totally did all the dishes [LIE]”
Them: “Oh great. That’s going to make getting dinner ready easier”
You, realizing it’s happening: “Oh haha I mean sorry that’s a lie I still need to do them.”
Ironically, I will lie sometimes if I lie about something. I would tell that I missed remembered or got something wrong.
There’s just something about me that makes me like this. Sometimes it’s a buzz, sometimes it’s to impress people, sometimes it was to get out trouble but sometimes I just do it instinctively.
Have you looking into getting examined for histrionic personality disorder?
A psychiatrist would typically perform the examination.
It’s funny you say that because I’ve already been diagnosed with HPD.
Wow, bang on eh? Well I’m glad at least you know what it is, and that you have it.
This part is the most puzzling to me. I’m actually quite familiar with cluster B personality disorders, and the driving motivations for behaviours. Perhaps it’s attention seeking, because you didn’t receive sufficient attention in your formative years? So you feel like you need to over compensate?
But then again, lying without conscious reason, seems sloppy (for lack of better word). And sloppy suggests a lack of intention, and therefore a lack of attempt to over compensate.
Did I mention I was puzzled?
“This part is the most puzzling to me. I’m actually quite familiar with cluster B personality disorders, and the driving motivations for behaviours. Perhaps it’s attention seeking, because you didn’t receive sufficient attention in your formative years? So you feel like you need to over compensate?”
I felt very overshadowed by younger siblings growing up. That’s probably it. That said I’m not a therapist so I don’t know. Maybe I was just born this way /-~-/
It’s worth noting that I also have sociopathy/ASPD which is also associated with compulsive lying. From Wikipedia:
“Pathological lying is listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), although only as a symptom of other disorders such as antisocial, narcissistic, and histrionic personality disorders”
And also from Wikipedia:
“Pathological lying is an item of the interpersonal facet of the Psychopathy Checklist-Revised (PCL-R), alongside superficial charm, grandiosity, and manipulativeness.”
Your self-awareness about this pattern is genuinely remarkable. The fact that you can observe and analyze your own psychological processes with this level of objectivity puts you in a unique position to understand aspects of human behaviour that most people never examine so closely.
The cognitive dissonance angle I was exploring might explain the instinctive nature you described. Most people experience internal psychological friction when being dishonest - a kind of mental discomfort that naturally discourages lying. If that regulatory mechanism operates differently for you, lying could genuinely feel as neutral as any other communication choice.
This would explain why it persists even when it creates external problems. Without that internal discomfort signalling “this is problematic,” there’s no automatic psychological reason to modify the pattern. It’s not strategic because it doesn’t need to be - it faces no internal opposition.
Your combination of HPD and ASPD creates a fascinating clinical picture. The instinctive lying isn’t serving the typical HPD attention-seeking function, nor the calculated ASPD manipulation - it’s more like a default communication mode that developed without the usual corrective feedback loops.
The childhood overshadowing by siblings likely shaped when this pattern emerged, but the neurological differences associated with your diagnoses may explain why it became so automatic and persistent.
“Your self-awareness about this pattern is genuinely remarkable. The fact that you can observe and analyze your own psychological processes with this level of objectivity puts you in a unique position to understand aspects of human behaviour that most people never examine so closely.”
Thank you. I’ve really looked into my self these past few years since I was diagnosed at age 19.
"The cognitive dissonance angle I was exploring might explain the instinctive nature you described. Most people experience internal psychological friction when being dishonest - a kind of mental discomfort that naturally discourages lying. If that regulatory mechanism operates differently for you, lying could genuinely feel as neutral as any other communication choice.
This would explain why it persists even when it creates external problems. Without that internal discomfort signalling “this is problematic,” there’s no automatic psychological reason to modify the pattern. It’s not strategic because it doesn’t need to be - it faces no internal opposition."
Ur so right. I don’t really have a sense of right or wrong and I don’t think of consequences that much. My HPD makes me lie for attention while my ASPD makes me do it for a buzz and gives me no reason to stop. Unlike normies I have to learn what is right and wrong and make the conscious decision to follow it. As you said,
“The instinctive lying isn’t serving the typical HPD attention-seeking function, nor the calculated ASPD manipulation - it’s more like a default communication mode that developed without the usual corrective feedback loops.”
Are you a therapist or psychologist?
No, worse, a (self described) polymath.
Why? Want some more of my analysis about your behaviour?
Sure
Do you often realize it’s happening, and regret? Or do you keep digging with more lies? What’s that feedback cycle like? Do you ever catch yourself and immediately roll back your lie?
Like,
You: “Oh yeah I totally did all the dishes [LIE]”
Them: “Oh great. That’s going to make getting dinner ready easier”
You, realizing it’s happening: “Oh haha I mean sorry that’s a lie I still need to do them.”
Yeah, being a compulsive liar isn’t a good look and it does isolate you so I have made an effort to stop this problematic trait. I have to make a conscious effort not to lie and if I do I make sure it’s something small that most people won’t notice. Ironically, I will lie sometimes to if I lie about something.
You: “Oh yeah I totally did all the dishes [LIE]”
Them: “Oh great. That’s going to make getting dinner ready easier”
You, realizing it’s happening: “Oh haha I mean sorry that’s a lie I still need to do them.”
Ironically, I will lie sometimes if I lie about something. I would tell that I missed remembered or got something wrong.