Sorry if this is personal, feel free to not answer. What made your family move to the U.S. and what did they need to prep financially to support the move?
Ecomonic offortunities is one of the big factors, but also for overall improvements for things like better air quality, better safety regulation for thing like food, because my mother was keep talking about food safety all the time, everyone was so afraid the fake baby formula that would be toxic to infants, so I was actually breastfed. (Actually, now that I think about it, maybe she did care for me. But idk why she’s being so abusive/neglectful, is this bipolar?!?), better education, because our Hukou was in Taishan, and its just very poorly funded, and those privately-run ones in Guangzhou was also shitty (can’t go to public ones, they require Guangzhou Hukou, even though I was born in Guangzhou, I don’t get Guangzhou Hukou). Geneally, its just because jobs paid more, and its paid on time. Delaying payments is a common thing in mainland China.
For context, the application to immigrate began like back in the 1990s (I think probably like mid/late-1990s), it was on waitlist for over a decade until 2010, so that application was before I was even born. In 1990s, the mainland China looked a lot worse than now. Even in 2010, the difference was a lot compared to now. Things were much much worse back then.
As for preparing… I mean they had over a decade to save up money to prepare for the initial funding. I think that was also chalenging given the fact that they had to pay like a fine for giving birth to me (2nd child, since One Child Policy was still in effect back then) in order to get my legal documents from the PRC government (otherwise it would’ve been problematic for the US immigration visas, if I didn’t have PRC’s legal documentation), the fine was somewhere in the range of like ¥10,000 to ¥25,000 (idk the exact amount, they didn’t tell me), which was a lot at the time. So anyways, she managed to pay the fine for violating the One Child Policy, application is fixed and my name got added on to the application, and like my mom was always worried the immigration officials would be strict and like ask questions to me like “who is your father/mother”, since 2nd children are rare, she thought the US would be suspicious and that the immigration official would suspect that I was not actually her child or something (as in, the US could be paranoid about potential child trafficking), I remember her just asking me: “if the immigration people ask who is your mother or father, how would you answer?” like… to prep for such possible questions, but they never asked those questions. I mean idk why my parents so so worried, I aint stupid lol, I know who my parents are lol.
So when we arrived in the US, out relatives didn’t really help out too much, except to help us find a place and prepaid like half a month of rent, they had to find jobs literally the next day after we arrived. I remember playing some weird gold games on the plane infotainment system. I remember being in Seoul International Airport (waiting for transfer flight) and the first time I learn of exchange values. I remember seeing stuff costing 10,000 and being 7 year old me (almost 8 years old), I was like WTF, then my parents explained how different countries have different money. Don’t remember much from the flights, but I remember excitement.
We kinda just left very early morning, I think I got anxious that morning we left, my mom told me about it a while ago and urged me not to share with classmates, but I was a kid, and I’m pretty sure I remember just babbling it to the kids at school, not sure if they believed me when I said I was gonna being going to 美国 (America). But my mom didn’t wanted kids to get too jealous and like paint a target on our back or something. Child-me was thinking like some assassin is gonna kill us or something (my thoughts are kinda wild back then. But still, I just like to “brag” about things. I didn’t get murdered, obviously, but honestly, idk why my mom thought such of a big deal of not telling anyone, like is anyone actually gonna murder us in jealousy that we could leave?
I think she also sometimes borrowed a bit of money from relatives and friends (they always eventually get paid back btw, because “face” is a huge thing, debt always got paid back).
So because most relative didn’t help a lot, she turned to friends. She had like this one close friend (I think its like her childhood “BFF” or something) still in NYC right now that lend her half of the money that she eventually used to buy a house in Philadelphia, the house was bought via direct cash payment, not a mortgage, btw. I think by now, that debt she owed to her friend should’ve been all cleared up and repaid. They are still friends to this day I think. I remember being at her (the mom’s friend) house sometimes when my mom goes there for chit chat or something, it feels very awkward being there because I was always afraid of breaking something and like making things awkward since. I remember this friend also help my mom and she pick me up from school when my mom was busy (and I spent like an hour at her house, just anxious af since I thought I was gonna embarass myself if I touched something and broke it). Btw her kids also went to the same elementary school as I did, don’t think we ever had the same class, probably different grade-level. Her son was older, born in mainland China, her daughter was born later, in the United States. I was so socially awkward I never really talked to them,
My mother joked once that she should get me to go to NYC to play with the friend’s daughter (around similar age as me) more often, and maybe marry when we get older. I LOLed at it, because I’m like, chill out mom, that is big adult talk, and like I barely know her lol, never even had the same class in school.
I mean, literally some friends helped out more than our blood-relatives did lol. “Blood is thinker than water” is a lie. I could’ve never done this if I were in her position, I would not have had friends and no 关系 and so social support networking. I don’t think I would been brave enough to do emmigration myself had my parents not paved the way for me and did it all for me.
Which mades me even sadder, since they are also the same parents that were sometimes abusive to me. Why?!? Is it really just bipolar?
Welp that is some old memory I didn’t think I still had, so thanks for helping me remember.
Thank you, for the detailed answer, and I am sorry for the abuse by your parent.
(again, sorry for the personal question, feel free to disregard) Do you know how dod they immigrated to the U.S.? As a immigrant myself, I thought you can only go to the U.S. if you have work/study here, or being a refugee.
My father’s sister (aka: my aunt) petitioned/sponsored us. Family based immigration.
Most of the paternal side of my family is already in the US, so you can think of this as a family reunion in a way. My materal side of relatives (mother’s sisters) are still on waitlist, my mother is now petitioning/sponsoring them ans they have been on waitlist since 2016, but now with the current administration and rising xenophobic sentinment, I’m not sure they will ever be approved, or if they even want to come at all. Their kids will be past 21 by the time it gers approved so they can’t come together as a family. I mean they can still come, but they’ll have to leave their (adult) children behind and apply for them when they get here.
Thinking about borders makes me sad. It separates close relatives from each other.
My father was in the last category of priority, that why it took like 10-15 years of waiting. Since we are his immediate family, my mother and me and my older brother was added on to the application and we all got visas.
But keep in mind the principal immigrant was still my father, so if he died before we got admitted into the US, then the whole thing is void basically.
I watched too many time travel media, and I think about stuff like alternate timelines all the time. I imagine one timeline where we were still living in Guangzhou, all the movies and TV I couldn’t have access to because of the censorship, all the games, etc…
Idk maybe I’m being weird, but I just can’t stop obsessing about the idea of alt-timelines where different things happened, because immigration is one of the most significant events of my life. I learned tolerance, acceptance of other race/ethnicities, I learned to accept LGBTQ people, I experienced multiculturalism, etc…
I think that, without this experience, I would’ve likely have been less open minded, and more conservative.
Sorry if this is personal, feel free to not answer. What made your family move to the U.S. and what did they need to prep financially to support the move?
Ecomonic offortunities is one of the big factors, but also for overall improvements for things like better air quality, better safety regulation for thing like food, because my mother was keep talking about food safety all the time, everyone was so afraid the fake baby formula that would be toxic to infants, so I was actually breastfed. (Actually, now that I think about it, maybe she did care for me. But idk why she’s being so abusive/neglectful, is this bipolar?!?), better education, because our Hukou was in Taishan, and its just very poorly funded, and those privately-run ones in Guangzhou was also shitty (can’t go to public ones, they require Guangzhou Hukou, even though I was born in Guangzhou, I don’t get Guangzhou Hukou). Geneally, its just because jobs paid more, and its paid on time. Delaying payments is a common thing in mainland China.
For context, the application to immigrate began like back in the 1990s (I think probably like mid/late-1990s), it was on waitlist for over a decade until 2010, so that application was before I was even born. In 1990s, the mainland China looked a lot worse than now. Even in 2010, the difference was a lot compared to now. Things were much much worse back then.
As for preparing… I mean they had over a decade to save up money to prepare for the initial funding. I think that was also chalenging given the fact that they had to pay like a fine for giving birth to me (2nd child, since One Child Policy was still in effect back then) in order to get my legal documents from the PRC government (otherwise it would’ve been problematic for the US immigration visas, if I didn’t have PRC’s legal documentation), the fine was somewhere in the range of like ¥10,000 to ¥25,000 (idk the exact amount, they didn’t tell me), which was a lot at the time. So anyways, she managed to pay the fine for violating the One Child Policy, application is fixed and my name got added on to the application, and like my mom was always worried the immigration officials would be strict and like ask questions to me like “who is your father/mother”, since 2nd children are rare, she thought the US would be suspicious and that the immigration official would suspect that I was not actually her child or something (as in, the US could be paranoid about potential child trafficking), I remember her just asking me: “if the immigration people ask who is your mother or father, how would you answer?” like… to prep for such possible questions, but they never asked those questions. I mean idk why my parents so so worried, I aint stupid lol, I know who my parents are lol.
So when we arrived in the US, out relatives didn’t really help out too much, except to help us find a place and prepaid like half a month of rent, they had to find jobs literally the next day after we arrived. I remember playing some weird gold games on the plane infotainment system. I remember being in Seoul International Airport (waiting for transfer flight) and the first time I learn of exchange values. I remember seeing stuff costing 10,000 and being 7 year old me (almost 8 years old), I was like WTF, then my parents explained how different countries have different money. Don’t remember much from the flights, but I remember excitement.
We kinda just left very early morning, I think I got anxious that morning we left, my mom told me about it a while ago and urged me not to share with classmates, but I was a kid, and I’m pretty sure I remember just babbling it to the kids at school, not sure if they believed me when I said I was gonna being going to 美国 (America). But my mom didn’t wanted kids to get too jealous and like paint a target on our back or something. Child-me was thinking like some assassin is gonna kill us or something (my thoughts are kinda wild back then. But still, I just like to “brag” about things. I didn’t get murdered, obviously, but honestly, idk why my mom thought such of a big deal of not telling anyone, like is anyone actually gonna murder us in jealousy that we could leave?
I think she also sometimes borrowed a bit of money from relatives and friends (they always eventually get paid back btw, because “face” is a huge thing, debt always got paid back).
So because most relative didn’t help a lot, she turned to friends. She had like this one close friend (I think its like her childhood “BFF” or something) still in NYC right now that lend her half of the money that she eventually used to buy a house in Philadelphia, the house was bought via direct cash payment, not a mortgage, btw. I think by now, that debt she owed to her friend should’ve been all cleared up and repaid. They are still friends to this day I think. I remember being at her (the mom’s friend) house sometimes when my mom goes there for chit chat or something, it feels very awkward being there because I was always afraid of breaking something and like making things awkward since. I remember this friend also help my mom and she pick me up from school when my mom was busy (and I spent like an hour at her house, just anxious af since I thought I was gonna embarass myself if I touched something and broke it). Btw her kids also went to the same elementary school as I did, don’t think we ever had the same class, probably different grade-level. Her son was older, born in mainland China, her daughter was born later, in the United States. I was so socially awkward I never really talked to them,
My mother joked once that she should get me to go to NYC to play with the friend’s daughter (around similar age as me) more often, and maybe marry when we get older. I LOLed at it, because I’m like, chill out mom, that is big adult talk, and like I barely know her lol, never even had the same class in school.
I mean, literally some friends helped out more than our blood-relatives did lol. “Blood is thinker than water” is a lie. I could’ve never done this if I were in her position, I would not have had friends and no 关系 and so social support networking. I don’t think I would been brave enough to do emmigration myself had my parents not paved the way for me and did it all for me.
Which mades me even sadder, since they are also the same parents that were sometimes abusive to me. Why?!? Is it really just bipolar?
Welp that is some old memory I didn’t think I still had, so thanks for helping me remember.
(Didn’t proofread, sorry if I typo)
Thank you, for the detailed answer, and I am sorry for the abuse by your parent.
(again, sorry for the personal question, feel free to disregard) Do you know how dod they immigrated to the U.S.? As a immigrant myself, I thought you can only go to the U.S. if you have work/study here, or being a refugee.
My father’s sister (aka: my aunt) petitioned/sponsored us. Family based immigration.
Most of the paternal side of my family is already in the US, so you can think of this as a family reunion in a way. My materal side of relatives (mother’s sisters) are still on waitlist, my mother is now petitioning/sponsoring them ans they have been on waitlist since 2016, but now with the current administration and rising xenophobic sentinment, I’m not sure they will ever be approved, or if they even want to come at all. Their kids will be past 21 by the time it gers approved so they can’t come together as a family. I mean they can still come, but they’ll have to leave their (adult) children behind and apply for them when they get here.
Thinking about borders makes me sad. It separates close relatives from each other.
My father was in the last category of priority, that why it took like 10-15 years of waiting. Since we are his immediate family, my mother and me and my older brother was added on to the application and we all got visas.
But keep in mind the principal immigrant was still my father, so if he died before we got admitted into the US, then the whole thing is void basically.
I watched too many time travel media, and I think about stuff like alternate timelines all the time. I imagine one timeline where we were still living in Guangzhou, all the movies and TV I couldn’t have access to because of the censorship, all the games, etc…
Idk maybe I’m being weird, but I just can’t stop obsessing about the idea of alt-timelines where different things happened, because immigration is one of the most significant events of my life. I learned tolerance, acceptance of other race/ethnicities, I learned to accept LGBTQ people, I experienced multiculturalism, etc…
I think that, without this experience, I would’ve likely have been less open minded, and more conservative.