- I’ve played enough Dark Souls to recognize this weapon. It’s the Flamberge. Not my favorite quality weapon, not the best strength or dex scaling. Still a cool greatsword.  - That seems like an unwise way to hold that sword. “Ow, my shoulder!” - Got a pauldron protecting the shoulder, gorget protecting the neck, helmet protecting head and ear. There’s no possible harm that might come to you holding the sword that way. 
- The beef jerky never complains. - Well yeah but they also moan when hit. 
 
 
 
- Fuck I’d pick that in the blink of an eye - You know, that’s how you end up with a cursed sword that does no damage and reduces your armor by 20%. - Good luck letting go of it once it’s too late.  
- Doesn’t matter - had sex
 
- For real, I wouldn’t even have a chance to take a fucking picture 
 
- I bought a fucking claymore once. It was as tall as I was and weighed a ton. Swinging it, even the correct way, was absolutely batshit for a 175 pound human. I have no idea what I was thinking.  - You were thinking. 
- Modern replicas of many of these historical weapons are often twice as heavy as the real thing. A field Zweihander would have been somewhere around 5 lbs. - Yep. Unless crafted in the correct way with the right metal, shape, etc., etc., it’s a glorified piece of rebar. - I have a beautifully made hand-and-a-half sword that is very wieldable. 
 
- You thought about slaying your enemies, that’s what. 
 
- This has cursed written all over it. 
- What is this contraption it’s leaning against? Feels like a trap. - That’s what I’m wondering. Everything about it screams “dumpster” but then why does it have those giant, trap-like appendages? - Because it’s a cybertruck 
 
 
- A zweihander?! - I can become… - GIANT DAD
- I’m getting my Diablo 2 PTSD triggered by this. 









