Thank you so much for sharing this. I have felt a bit disconnected from the idea of doing it primarily for the physical changes (not that I mind those, of course). I have basically given this explanation to my relatives about why I am undertaking this, and it is validating to see people who have had the same experience. My surroundings do not express this as deeply as I do, as those people seem to be focused more on the appearance side of things. While I just do not deeply care that much.

I have felt like something was deeply wrong with me, and this explanation resonates. I just have been a whole lot happier since starting HRT. I stopped feeling like a ticking time bomb, that can not handle my social interactions, and I just feel right in the world. Puberty made me disconnected from myself and the world, I remembered crying to songs that sang about being disillusioned with my own self and my body. But I never really wanted it to hit, I knew for a while, but just felt like it would take a lot and that I wouldn’t be strong enough. But here I am, and it wasn’t as hard as I imagined after all.