“Welcome back, Elon. I think you’re going to like what we’ve cooked up for you: Your reconstructed brain has been placed in a medically advanced life-support enclosure to ensure you’ll live - or at least exist - forever. We thought about using Neuralink ™ for this next bit, but the tech sucked. Instead we’ve implanted your brain with bespoke electrodes hooked up to your grey matter to simultaneously induce inescapable pain and allow your Broca’s area to drive this vocal synthesizer via your motor cortex. We were thinking the dulcet tones of your endless suffering could be made pay-per-view. You won’t be alone of course. Look, your old buddy Zukerberg’s jar is right over there, between Besos and Altman. Maybe we can make a choir…”