Does this qualify?

I’m surviving, and definetly not the fittest.

I get asked to relatively often at dayjob, but I keep telling them that we can’t do that…

My sister once fell up the stairs.

There was that time I tried to charge a battery but inserted it backwards by mistake, and instead discharged the battery charger.

As an Australian I like to think our wildlife is a crime against nature.

Some things were not meant to be blended

I use the force to open automatic doors