So, I have autism and also very bad social anxiety, so I don’t have a massive amount of social interactions, so it is easy for me to remember pretty much all of them. This also means that I spend way too much time obsessing over any significant interactions I have, particularly negative ones, which then just make me feel more upset and anxious than I was at the time and sometimes leads to a breakdown. I am also completely unable to deal with conflict

For whatever reason this website, unlike the original subreddit is way more invested in dunking on each other imo. This site has a very hostile atmosphere where it feels like everyone is constantly at each others throats and it makes me just not want to come here at all.

I also want to take exception to some of the recent posts by @TransComrade69 about the Beyond Pink or Blue book, particularly the part in the original post about it only being like 170 pages, so you could read it in like 3 days, so if you don’t, it is reactionary. No, one of the symptoms of autism is executive function issues, which I suffer from quite significantly. I could read that book, but it would require me using a lot of energy and necessetitate me neglecting other parts of my life. I struggle hard enough to read books necessary for classes, if I were to try and read that book, it would take months, if not over a year for me to complete it. So, while I understand why @TransComrade69 wants people to read the book and is pushing it, as I am sure there is lots of valuable information within it, I do not at all appreciate the tone that was taken in parts of the original post.

Anyway, I’ve deleted this account twice already, and I’m doing it for the 3rd and probably final time after this. Social media in general is bad for a lot of these things, but this site kind of takes it to another level.

  • 11000 [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    4 years ago

    Nah I have extreme anxiety and autism and since they got rid of downvotes and I have managed to finally open up on here more and found this community to be very caring and accepting and any disagreement on here has been civil.

    I didn’t read the book recomended by TransComrade69 for similar reasons too you but I took her agressiveness and calling out peoples laissez-faire attitudes to Transphobia on this site in good faith and knew she was just rightfully angry and trying to shame some people in to taking action, not calling me persoanlly a lazy transphobe for not being able to concerntrate. I’m not insulted when people call out men or white people or any other group I am a part of that has a lot of toxic attitudes and the same principle applies here to this website.

  • Hoodoo [love/loves]@hexbear.net
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    4 years ago

    A lot of the intra-site discourse here seems unnecessarily vicious honestly.

    I would point out that that’s certainly not their intention, most likely, but it’s hard to pick up on that for neurodivirgent people sometimes.

    I’d call on anyone on this site to really think twice if an aggressive tone is called for when posting. Noone ever reached equality through mistreatment of people of good will.

    I spent a lot of time in my younger days angry at the treatment LGBT people were given in society, but eventually realized how pointless it was to meet hate with hate. It can be damn frustrating and alienating being pushed to the margins of society like that, believe me, but never once did getting hurtful towards others improve my lot in life. Anger is a poison that feels good to indulge in, but a kind person must refrain from becoming submerged in it.

  • infuziSporg [e/em/eir]@hexbear.net
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    4 years ago

    Every day I wonder if it’s going to be the day that I get banned, showing up in the mod log with “wrecker” or “reactionary”, no explanation or warning given.

      • infuziSporg [e/em/eir]@hexbear.net
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        4 years ago

        Lots of people banned weren’t chuds though.

        I’ve had over 15 instances where I’m reading threads by Top Day, going through all the comments and seeing people who have been banned, reading through their user page and they’re just a regular chapo poster. Maybe a removed by mod once or twice on a profile but no one will ever know what that was.

        I refuse to believe that this site attracts more chuds than well-meaning communists. And even if it did, wouldn’t that suggest that something is deeply wrong?

  • crime [she/her, any]@hexbear.net
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    4 years ago

    I get where you’re coming from for sure, I don’t really feel the same way though. There’s a decent appeals process if you do get banned, and this is one of the only places on the internet that I can comfortably assume that everyone I’m interacting with is acting in good faith, so reflexively I assume everyone knows I’m acting in good faith too, and that makes me more comfortable that when I inevitably I say something stupid or piss someone off I’ll be treated fairly.

    It probably helps that “gentle bullying” is my love language though to be fair

    • infuziSporg [e/em/eir]@hexbear.net
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      4 years ago

      There was another thread where people were being critical of ban policy; in one comment chain I was making the exact same argument as another poster but with a little bit more reservation in tone; he got banned but I didn’t.