• endless_nameless@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    I don’t think people caring about body count has anything to do with physical things other than drastically increased odds of STIs and certain cancers.

    I think mature adults realize that sex is never just sex, it forms attachments whether you want it or not. Screwing around forming and cutting off attachments constantly kind of fucks with your capacity to emotionally invest in an actual relationship.

    • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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      22 hours ago

      Yeah, it’s more about the fact that it’s really reckless behavior for tons of reasons for me. I don’t need someone like that in my life. Literally every really promiscuous person I know is living a train wreck of a life. Most of them are pretty shitty people otherwise too. Some of them have grown out of it, but with that they became more stable in their relationships and aren’t sleeping around like they used to. I’m not saying it’s impossible to sleep around and not have tons of issues but I haven’t witnessed it so to me it’s a red flag.

    • AceOnTrack@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      1 day ago

      If your brain one days goes like ‘I should fuck a thousand guys’ and you don’t immediately shut it down, there’s something terribly wrong with you, and that’s before accounting for the STI you are absolutely carrying.

      Now. Clearly some incels have an irrational low idea of what a ‘normal’ bodycount should be, but 1000 in one day ain’t it either.

      • endless_nameless@lemmy.world
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        9 hours ago

        I’ve had sex with 3 women and rejected sexual advances from 7, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want a woman with similar statistics.

        Someone might call me an incel for wanting a women with about three bodies but the truth is I’ve remained voluntarily celibate for the vast majority of my single life. I view sex as a big deal and something to be enjoyed only with someone you love. It’s not crazy to want someone with a similar mindset, and if you have 10 bodies you either have too different of a mindset or you’re way way outside my age range.

        It’s really ridiculous how extensively I need to spell this out to not get called an incel. People have reasons. We don’t need to jump to conclusions with the least charitable interpretation all the time. Unfortunately it seems like that’s literally the only thing a lot (if not most) people are capable of doing nowadays.

    • poke@sh.itjust.works
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      2 days ago

      Not everyone does form those attatchemnts. There are plenty of poeole out there who can just have sex and have a good time and move on.

    • fracture@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      2 days ago

      i think the way you’re describing the process as “screwing around, forming and cutting off attachments” really shows that you think of it in a very black and white sort of way. one can have casual / fwb sex with their friends, and still have a friend relationship with that person. one can even have one-off sex with an acquaintance or stranger, and even if you never meet again, it doesn’t really make it a “cut off” relationship; if you met again, it would be pleasant, circumstances just may not arrange it

      just because it’s a more emotionally involved process for you or some people you’ve encountered, doesn’t make it a universal truth

      • endless_nameless@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        Sure, you CAN do these things. That doesn’t mean it’s not diminishing your capacity to be emotionally invested in your relationships.

        We can spend all day blowharding and traversing all the layers of subconscious processes abstracted into social constructs, how we are able to rationalize anything if we want to, and so on. But I think you can only get so far with that, when all I’m trying to describe is something pretty much everyone already understands intuitively.

        “You can’t turn a hoe into a housewife”

        Works with gender/role flipped too, obviously.

        • LainTrain@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          3 hours ago

          I’m gonna be dead honest with you. The reason you think that high bodycount means that you’re somehow fundamentally different as a person e.g. incapable of being a “housewife” is because you do not have a high bodycount yourself and its incomprehensible for you, when in reality it’s really just not that big a deal.

          No one with a high bodycount thinks of themselves as having a high bodycount. At one time all those people had a low bodycount and they were the same people then as they were after they had a high bodycount.

          At most they’re “sexually experienced”, in gamer terms they’re the people with 500 games in their steam library and to them the average person is kinda like the person who only plays F2P mobile gachas, so yeah they’ll have higher standards but they also probably know what’s good and what works.

          None of this is inherently good or bad, it just is.

          • endless_nameless@lemmy.world
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            36 minutes ago

            Nah. There is a mountain of science related to how sex influences practically every part of your nervous system, affecting brain function and in turn, emotional processing.

            But I agree with you, it’s not good or bad, cause it’s not my life and people are free to do what they want. I just think people ought to be aware that emotional connection is not an infinite resource before they start giving it away willy nilly.

        • fracture@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          1 day ago

          i genuinely do not “intuitively understand” this idea. there’s nothing contradictory about being a hoe and a housewife

          can you like, explain this? i really don’t understand how having multiple sexual relationships, specifically, diminishes one’s ability to have emotionally fulfilling relationships. if anything, i might be inclined to think they would have more emotionally fulfilling relationships 💀