existentialmemes
Alright, I’m going to launch explosives around your house. For several hours. Yes it is dangerous and terrible for wildlife and the environment. And yes your pets will get sick from eating the debris and you will feel terrorized inside your own home.
No you can’t opt out of it. Everyone is doing it and frankly it’s weird that you don’t want to.
No you can’t be the one launching the explosives you need a license for that. You can however launch these marginally smaller ones though. Yeah just whenever you want. 2am sounds great.
So anyway, fireworks were a mistake and it’s never too early to start reminding you of that.


I’d happily see consumer fireworks banned. If people like them so much then there are plenty of organized displays which have way better shit than you can buy at Walmart, and I know roughly when they’re happening so I can turn the TV up loud, close my windows and keep my pets from being too traumatized.
What I can’t stand is the random 3AM explosions that sounds like the start of WWIII. If you’re one of those people, fuck you. Sincerely.
I promise you if that ban happened people will buy gun powder and build their own. Now they’re more dangerous and made in Jimmy’s garage
You may say ban blackpowder, but then you run into the 2nd amendment lobby
Well, you could always be the reason they get banned… just gota get creative with it?