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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/AdFragrant9001 on 2023-09-16 04:57:37.

My(58F) Daughter Jenifer (27f) has a new BF David (32m) Last week they came to dinner, it wasn’t planned in advance, they came for something else and just stayed for dinner. I cooked an Asian dish. Unknown to me at the time, David has some major food hangups, no allergies or special diet, just things he doesn’t eat. He hadn’t wanted to stay, apparently, he said so earlier in the day, but Jen forgot. He didn’t say anything when Jen asked me could they stay.

When I served the food, he looked at it like it was poison, pushed it away and said “Im not eating this crap” and left. He totally left, drove home without her, or without telling her he was leaving. My daughter was stunned and upset. They had a huge fight over his rude behavior and him leaving her there.

A week later they made up, He seems to have convinced her it was her fault for staying for dinner, she knew about his food issues. She felt bad for not considering his hang ups but told him his behavior was not ok, he should have spoken to her about it before dinner.

So now this is where I come in and might be the AH.

My birthday is coming up and my son is flying in from out of state, so I really want the whole family there.

I had already chosen the restaurant I want to go to for dinner on my birthday. It’s a Chinse restaurant that my family all enjoy. I am assuming that David will not eat there since he had such a problem with my Asian food. He said rice is a big turn off for him. I could change, there is time, but I really don’t want to. They have only been dating a couple of months. And he was very rude to me in my home. He hasn’t apologized to me.

I told Jen about my plans, she said he probably won’t come. I asked if she would still come or if she is going to choose to stay with him. She said she would come but…I suspect he will pressure her to not come.

Part of me wants to push it to show my daughter what she has in store for her future if she stays in this relationship, but the other part wants to not upset anyone.

AITA if I don’t change the restaurant?