Sol_Tradguy [he/him, they/them]

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  • 35 Comments
Joined 1 month ago
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Cake day: January 2nd, 2025

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  • journalposting

    i try not to post about crushes in anything but the most broad undetailed detail anymore and i dont even really have one singular crush atm but someone in my life who i like & respect i really think either dislikes me or likes me in a way they arent comfortable with, i cannot think of another explanation at this point (first option much more likely). this weird dynamic has been going on for as long as ive known them and it’s getting old. like idc really even about some romantic end goal but i just genuinely think we could be boys if we got over the weird vibe between us and gave each other more of a chance?

    i get sensitive reflective soul from them & i am 100 percent also that and those people r my ride or dies. i also get the vibe they and i are both gentle and loving. we are kindred they just dont know it yet. stop being a coward and be my dang friend already >:(













  • i’m not asking this to be self-pitying, but should i just try to accept that i might be single indefinitely? ignoring the most grandiose, exaggerated version of my inner critic, i know that objectively i have a lot of qualities that many would consider desirable in a partner - conventionally decent looking, try to be a good person, engaged with the world around me, robust set of hobbies (even if i engage them less consistently than id like), some idiots w/ bad taste think im funny, etc etc etc.

    but being single in the 2020s, it really just feels like the infrastructure is if not gone, then drying up & dying. apps became the default but they’re getting more and more unusable and people seem to be fleeing them - even since i started relatively recently shit has gotten more enshittified and the userbase has seemed to be dwindling. and most sources of community have been destroyed. im actually lucky to have found some community in my life, but it’s pretty much entirely through political organizing, and many many people consider that to be off limits as far as dating is concerned.

    i just dont see any (or at least many) reliable paths besides praying to the god of sheer, dumb luck. i feel lost though because really i am not very happy single. but as time draws on since my relationship ended, it’s also feeling increasingly More Safe than the alternative (if infinitely less rewarding & potentially happy).


  • management’s passive aggressive office cops who use indirect violence rather than direct - theyve got the same role, to protect the company and therefore, capital. don’t think i’ve ever met an HR person who hasn’t filled me with loathing and/or creeped me out, either malicious automata programmed to deal death through a rictus, artificial smile, or snide 15 year olds stuck in the bodies of 20-30somethings.