

CW: SA story
spoiler
Some of the experiences told here resonate too much with mine, in my case the perpetrator was male and a close friend of mine, we were both adults. I spent years silent because I didn’t know how to explain how I was removed by another adult male and “did nothing against it” (after being unconscious I woke up and he was there, doing it). I cut contact with him. After more than 5 years I finally broke the silence and told what had happened to some of the friends we had in common, I thought it was the least I could do, this person is dangerous to other people. My “friends” acted all worried about it but the next day they ghosted me.
The physical damage was nothing in comparison with the distrust I developed. They must have seen me as a burden so they abandoned me. My priority was alerting them, I wasn’t asking for retribution or anything of the sort. Never talked about my abuser in hateful terms. For some reason I didn’t feel hate towards him, only disgust and disappointment.
Men have a lot of trouble conceiving their kind as adult victims of SA. Not only when the victim is another person, it was hard for me to come into terms with what had happened too at first. The idea that “IT COULD NEVER HAPPEN TO ME” is in our subconscious and I get it, it’s the alpha male bullshit from the patriarchal society we get fed from birth. But my friends were all leftists so I thought they would act differently. Maybe I was asking too much.
Although the event itself hurts less now it changed me, I don’t trust people so easily and my boundaries are way more stricter than before. To this day I can’t call anybody a friend, I don’t perceive basic empathy from other people and in every social interaction I feel like I’m about to get fucked(figuratively), the paranoia never goes away.




Those who dance next to a concentration camp don’t deserve a single tear. Sometimes living like an entitled westernized settler has consequences. It should always have consequences. Fuck these displays of empathy for those who have none, that’s for liberals who believe they’ll never be on the oppressed side. It’s so easy for them to appeal to the bOTh SidEs bullshit.