“The doctor said I wouldn’t have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there.” - ralph

damn i was hoping this was real and could use it as an excuse for being fat

Delete is just the name of the new massive database they just spun up

you’re right, it’s the parents that aren’t paying their fair share of taxes, not Fortune 100 companies or billionaires /s

what the hell is cursive?!

it’s just too many keys to press at once i cant do it

lol @ Treatment of Pet Hamster by Girl Chilling Foreshadowing of How She Will Parent Her Future Children

my kid’s stuck to wall once…

dude it’s a satire article like the onion