I am currently in a social event and I am too exhausted to have conversations, so I figured I just pretend I’m busy texting by writing this post. I have to stay here for at least two more hours and I have two more (social) things to do tomorrow… one of them I’ll probably cancel because it is just too much but I did not think of an excuse yet… I feel dishonest and I really hate it, but I also didn’t have really good experiences coming out as autistic… it has never felt accomodating and often pretty invalidating. My depression has been hitting harder than usual, which is extra hard because I have to pretend I am okay just to avoid interactions I can’t handle right now. So anywhere I’m not even trying to make a point here I just need something to keep be busy and not make me look weird. Anyways, wish me luck idk, I’m really not enjoying life a lot rn :I

Edit: thanks a lot everyone! I read the replies several times, it has been reassuring and as a plus it kept me busy yesterday. :)

  • 𝒍𝒆𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒏English
    2•11 months ago

    I personally only go to social gatherings to show support to the organiser, if they’re someone I consider close - otherwise it’s optional attendance from my perspective

    I’m not a very interesting individual outside of a few niche topics, and trying to socialise with people is really draining, especially if there’s no common thing to discuss. I stay away from most mainstream things that I don’t care about, so a lot of (for lack of a better term) “normie” media & topics are out the window.

    After running out of energy, being constantly asked “are you fine” by various concerned guests can get a bit bothersome… although the gesture is much appreciated I just want some space to myself.