To be clear, im queer and im in a relationship with a gay cis man.
Some days ago we were watching a sketch on YouTube about the gay best friend stereotype, where the joke was basically “I can be misogynistic and can walk into female dressing rooms because im gay”. I was trying to gather my thoughts to write a piece about it, personally I have no problem being the “gay friend” to my female friends, but there are a lot of stupid and harmful misconceptions about it. I would like to hear some of your opinions about it.
As with all jokes it matters who the audience is. My friends can make off-colour jokes with me, I can reciprocate with off-jokes. But I would never do this with people not fully aware of my actual opinions. This also counts to clear misogynistic jokes.
My closest female friends they would be fine with it, they’ve known me for years, I’ve supported them in their lowest and they know I would never mean the a horrible thing I say. They’ll happily reciprocate with some toxic male jokes, or some gay jokes. That said, even when I make them they are both clear intended to be jokes, but if they ever looked uncomfortable then it would be my guilt to bear, as at the end, as the audience they are meant to enjoy the joke, not be sad or hurt by it.
Making them to strangers is a big no-no, and if strangers are in the room with you at the time (like a party) you also have to “match the energy” of your friend. That means don’t randomly do something misogynistic that they would understand to be a joke, but strangers would not. I think this is the hardest for most people as they don’t consider that strangers witnessing could also be accidental audiences.
This is a very fine comment.