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The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 year ago

God Admits Sending Great Flood Was Just Misguided Attempt To Impress Jodie Foster

www.theonion.com

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God Admits Sending Great Flood Was Just Misguided Attempt To Impress Jodie Foster

www.theonion.com

The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 year ago
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THE HEAVENS—Claiming that love had made Him do crazy things, the Lord God Almighty admitted Monday that sending the Great Flood to destroy the evil He beheld upon the earth was just a misguided attempt to impress Jodie Foster. “Truth be told, I convinced Myself that if I sent mighty torrents of water to cleanse the…
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  • shalafi@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    This is an old callback. 🤣 For those not in the know, an obsession with Foster is why Hinckley shot President Reagan.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Hinckley_Jr.#Obsession_with_Jodie_Foster

    And he’s out of jail, free and clear! Did not know that.

    • TIMMAY@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      If only he had a steadier hand

    • thefartographer@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      Literally me, except the opposite. A president shot me because of their hatred towards Robert De Niro. Definitely a true story.

      • theodewere@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        see Hillary got away with all kinda shit while she was President

    • bl4ckblooc@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      American Dad taught me this, along with Ollie North.

  • Tristaniopsis@aussie.zone
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    1 year ago

    There was a band called Jody Foster’s Army.

  • angelsomething
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    1 year ago

    lol

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