I think way less people actively hold those beliefs than you think. Yes, those stereotypes are ingrained in the western mind, but if you ask most people if those things were true they would say no.
You can’t hold everyone you meet to the standard of “if you’re not a devout communist, you are a blatant racist, homophobe, etc”. And yeah it is not your job or responsibility to educate people, but if you see enemies everywhere, it’s going to be hard to make friends and you are going to make yourself miserable. I’m not trying to be condescending or tell you how to live your life, I just think you are being the enemy of your own happiness.
I think the last 4/5 times I casually brought up Tiktok to acquaintances/strangers they say something about the Chinese communists controlling our youths or spreading propaganda
Half the times somebody asks me what phone I have and I tell them it’s a Xiaomi or OnePlus they make some joke about spyware
People will mock me for supporting child labor when I answer that I got my clothes from Shein while they’re decked out in Uniqlo and Nike
People regularly talk about their travel overseas in Africa with sadness that they’ll never be able to be civilized or democratic because they’re too poor. They talk about how suspicious and sketchy things are in South Asia/SEA while describing scenarios that are super normal and harmless, just culturally different
You don’t even know where I live, you don’t know what experiences I’ve had
I’m holding people up to 0 standards, it’s just that very little people meet the already in the ground bar that I have
Also, people I meet from non-Western countries pass that bar way, way more fucking often than Americans do. Even Canadians pass the bar significantly more often than Americans do. So no, I don’t try and see enemies everywhere I go
Don’t even for a second say that Americans are not one of the most xenophobic and racist people
I understand. I feel the same way a lot of the time. I’m sorry about that other person, they were obviously frustrated but being dismissive of your lived experience and throwing it in your face just because you didn’t immediately accept their vague sentiments isn’t fair.
I’m the only non-white person in my team at work. My manager and several members of my team have always treated me with more scrutiny, more suspicion, less leeway than they give any of the others. Less professional courtesy in general. I didn’t invent these enemies, I tried to fit in the best I could but there’s something ingrained inside of them that tells them that I’m lesser than they are and they act on it. That’s just in a work environment, now just imagine how much worse it is in a social setting.
So I understand. It’s not as simple as just “seeing people as friends rather than enemies.” Sometimes what you choose to see people as doesn’t change anything, unless the solution being advocated is for you to diminish your own dignity and self and blind yourself to people’s hostilities towards you. Which is what we all do anyway. It doesn’t make you feel any more accepted.
I am white so take this with a grain of saltine, but at no point did I try to imply that people who are bigots deserve an ounce of OP’s attention or respect. Apologies if I didn’t understand they needed validation instead of advice, you know we s give the best advice.
I think way less people actively hold those beliefs than you think. Yes, those stereotypes are ingrained in the western mind, but if you ask most people if those things were true they would say no.
You can’t hold everyone you meet to the standard of “if you’re not a devout communist, you are a blatant racist, homophobe, etc”. And yeah it is not your job or responsibility to educate people, but if you see enemies everywhere, it’s going to be hard to make friends and you are going to make yourself miserable. I’m not trying to be condescending or tell you how to live your life, I just think you are being the enemy of your own happiness.
I think the last 4/5 times I casually brought up Tiktok to acquaintances/strangers they say something about the Chinese communists controlling our youths or spreading propaganda
Half the times somebody asks me what phone I have and I tell them it’s a Xiaomi or OnePlus they make some joke about spyware
People will mock me for supporting child labor when I answer that I got my clothes from Shein while they’re decked out in Uniqlo and Nike
People regularly talk about their travel overseas in Africa with sadness that they’ll never be able to be civilized or democratic because they’re too poor. They talk about how suspicious and sketchy things are in South Asia/SEA while describing scenarios that are super normal and harmless, just culturally different
You don’t even know where I live, you don’t know what experiences I’ve had
I’m holding people up to 0 standards, it’s just that very little people meet the already in the ground bar that I have
Also, people I meet from non-Western countries pass that bar way, way more fucking often than Americans do. Even Canadians pass the bar significantly more often than Americans do. So no, I don’t try and see enemies everywhere I go
Don’t even for a second say that Americans are not one of the most xenophobic and racist people
I understand. I feel the same way a lot of the time. I’m sorry about that other person, they were obviously frustrated but being dismissive of your lived experience and throwing it in your face just because you didn’t immediately accept their vague sentiments isn’t fair.
I’m the only non-white person in my team at work. My manager and several members of my team have always treated me with more scrutiny, more suspicion, less leeway than they give any of the others. Less professional courtesy in general. I didn’t invent these enemies, I tried to fit in the best I could but there’s something ingrained inside of them that tells them that I’m lesser than they are and they act on it. That’s just in a work environment, now just imagine how much worse it is in a social setting.
So I understand. It’s not as simple as just “seeing people as friends rather than enemies.” Sometimes what you choose to see people as doesn’t change anything, unless the solution being advocated is for you to diminish your own dignity and self and blind yourself to people’s hostilities towards you. Which is what we all do anyway. It doesn’t make you feel any more accepted.
Thanks for seeing me and understanding
I am white so take this with a grain of saltine, but at no point did I try to imply that people who are bigots deserve an ounce of OP’s attention or respect. Apologies if I didn’t understand they needed validation instead of advice, you know we
s give the best advice.
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