• nocturne@sopuli.xyz
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    7 months ago

    Back in the early/mid 90s I had just bought Death Spiritual Healing, Malevolent Creation Ten Commandments, and Nocturnus The Key from a video rental place in my home town.

    Me and a buddy listened to all of the metal I just got and decided to see what else we could find. Then we saw it, it had to be the holy grail of heavy metal! There was a motorcycle blasting out of hell and this awesome bat in the background. The album was Bat Out of Hell and the band was so metal their name was Meatloaf! This was going to be soul crushingly heavy…

      • nocturne@sopuli.xyz
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        7 months ago

        When you are expecting something along the lines of the other tapes I had just got, Meatloaf is weak sauce.

          • funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works
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            7 months ago

            there are some Nick Cave tracks with acoustic guitar and violin that are more intense, imo, than Meshuggah etc

            e.g. John Finn’s Wife, Papa Won’t Leave You Henry, Stagger Lee.

    • WamGams@lemmy.ca
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      7 months ago

      That’s a good fucking album though. Bat Out of Hell II: Bat Back Into Hell fucking sucked, though I will admit liking his version of a particular song more than Celine Dion’s version.

  • HelixDab2@lemm.ee
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    7 months ago

    The incredible irony here is that there are so, so many death and black metal musicians that are genuinely better people than Gene Simmons could ever be. I would trust my kids (note: I do not have kids) around Cannibal Corpse and Cattle Decapitation. I would absolutely not trust Simmons around a teen daughter.

    • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee
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      7 months ago

      Oh for sure, metal heads are for real wholesome ppl. Metal concerts are probably the lowest in some stupid peer pressure things or macho competitions (who can to the most x stuff, who has the most money, etc), and I absolutely know how many people react to someone needing some help. Maybe because we are a more diverse group related to age? Or because we are everywhere yet nowhere mainstream?

      • HelixDab2@lemm.ee
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        7 months ago

        I was the Metal Blade 25th anniversary show in Chicago–Cattle Decapitation with Goatwhore, Allegaeon, and Novembers Doom–and the lead of Goatwhore stopped the show to point out the guy that had his 10yo kid (with ear muffs!) at the edge of the pit, and told the crowd to be careful and friendly, because that kid was the future of the scene.

        • Woozythebear@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          Crazy, I’ve been to a couple hundred metal shows and never heard anyone say the N word. No one’s ever threatened to kill me or my family. Never heard anyone going around the crowed telling women to get the fuck back in the kitchen… like the fuck you mean?

          • ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world
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            7 months ago

            I’m jealous of you, but maybe a lot of it comes from me being older, and some of those toxic elders either got reformed, or left the scene entirely.

          • 0xD@infosec.pub
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            7 months ago

            In my experience, the gatekeeping and unhealthy drinking habits are the most toxic aspects of it.

    • NOT_RICK@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      I would trust my kids (note: I do not have kids) around Cannibal Corpse

      Well, maybe not at Pat O’Brien’s house.

      If you left your kids with Cattle Decapitation you’d end up picking up a budding eco-terrorist which doesn’t sound half bad

      • HelixDab2@lemm.ee
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        7 months ago

        Fair point; it seems like he wasn’t storing his firearms safely.

        Hope he gets the help he needs. :(

    • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee
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      7 months ago

      True. Music isn’t the art form they were good at.

      And yet are fairly widely recognisable for, em, music I guess that long tongue.

  • BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works
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    7 months ago

    “Rock and roll all nite” is at least somewhat rock-ish. Try “I was made for loving you” that’s almost pure disco.

  • drunkosaurus@kbin.social
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    7 months ago

    Late to the party, everything that needed to be said has been said. Still, let me add my voice to the choir: KISS has never been cool. KISS is the opposite of cool.

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️@yiffit.net
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    7 months ago

    Literally most 80’s and 90’s “hair metal” bands.

    Then there’s Steely Dan who goes the opposite direction. He looks and sounds middle of the road, but the lyrics are dark as fuck. Used to only know of him because of jokes about his music being soft as shit, and then I took the time to actually listen to it and I was blown away.

    • SHOW_ME_YOUR_ASSHOLE@lemm.ee
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      7 months ago

      Steely Dan isn’t a person, it’s two main artists and a bunch of other session musicians. The band’s name came from a steam-powered dildo named Steely Dan in a book from the early 60’s I believe.

      They made some fucking amazing music!

    • goldteeth@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      7 months ago

      “My Rival” is my favorite jaunty funk-rock ditty about a guy stalking the man that stole his wife, cornering him in the middle of the desert, and kicking him to death in a strip mall parking lot. And that’s not even in the 'Dan Top 10.

      And you can’t listen to “Godwhacker” and tell me that isn’t the basic plot of half a dozen death metal songs, just with more jive and a sicker bassline.

    • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      He looks and sounds middle of the road, but the lyrics are dark as fuck

      Have you ever listened to the lyrics for Simon and Garfunkel songs? They make the most beautiful and serene music, all about darkness, loneliness, and desperation.

      • Kedly@lemm.ee
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        7 months ago

        Funnily enough Disturbed’s Remix of Sound of Silence goes pretty hard. And now I’ve heard remixes of a remix

        • Bender_on_Fire@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          I don’t like this cover particularly much, but it definitely stays true to the feel of the original.

          “Bye bye love” is a pretty funny one by S&G as the lyrics are all about heartache bordering full on depression, but people love to clap along to the upbeat melody.

    • LucasWaffyWaf@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      The song about creepy Mister LaPage wanting to show kids dirty movies comes to mind, Everyone’s Gone To the Movies. Also Third World Man, about a veteran suffering from PTSD, or Kid Charlemagne and the story it tells of a drug kingpin.

  • crawancon@lemm.ee
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    7 months ago

    they’ve always been musical posers/sellouts. that’s sort of their shtick I guess?

    to be so gloriously average but pretend to be cool but end up looking fabulously gay.

    and their SOUND! sooo …average.

      • Damage@feddit.it
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        7 months ago

        Nothing’s average to you when you’ve barely listened to anything. Many of us started their musical journey with bands we don’t enjoy anymore because we now know better ones.

    • The Snark Urge@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      “KISS doesn’t get the joke, man!”

      …Dramatic irony is when the reader knows something the character does not.

  • dumbass@leminal.space
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    7 months ago

    KISS: when you like the look of black metal but can’t handle the sound of black metal.

    • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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      7 months ago

      I was actually surprised when I first heard Ghost, it was so calm it could almost work as elevator music. You’d never expect that from their looks

      • Adm_Drummer@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        Their earlier works certainly are. If their early albums aren’t metal then Black Sabbath isn’t metal either.

    • Adm_Drummer@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      They’re more in the realm of like… Stoner Rock, Psychedelic Doom and Smooth rock tbh with a large emphasis on Satanist Imagery and gospel. I fuck with that. More like Candlemass type Doom metal than like Stormkeep Doom Metal.

      KISS on the other hand was like “Hey kids, we heard you like corpse paint, crazy guitar riffs and meaningful lyrics so we made the opposite for your mothers to listen to.”

  • DerisionConsulting@lemmy.ca
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    7 months ago

    that pedo band?

    Christine Sixteen:

    don’t usually say things like this to girls your age
    But when I saw you coming out of school that day
    That day I knew, I knew
    I’ve got to have you, I’ve got to have you

    • Lowlee Kun@feddit.de
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      7 months ago

      It is creepy, not pedophile.

      I know for most people this seems like hair splitting but there is a stark contrast between beeing attracted to a 16 year old (which only based on physical appearance is very normal) and being attracted to prepubescent people.

      Acting on attractions is a whole different book.

      • masterofn001@lemmy.ca
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        7 months ago

        If you pay attention, lyrics about sex with minors was a common theme from the 50s (and earlier) to the 90s (and later).

        “I get it up for the touch of the younger kind” ~ my Sharona - the knack, 1979

        “She was just 17, if you know what I mean” ~ I saw her standing there - the Beatles, 1963

        Girl, you’ll be a woman soon. Neil diamond

        Don’t stand so close to me. The police

        Sweet little sixteen. Chuck Berry

        Etc.

        • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          It’s worth noting that Paul McCartney was only 21 and George Harrison only 20 in 1963. That’s a group of guys who hadn’t really matured much since they never had to face any of the challenges that we did at that age, and were constantly doted upon. I’m not excusing their lyrics, I’m just saying 17 and 20 (only 3 years apart) is not as creepy as shit like old ass Ted Nugent singing about 13 year old girls. That shit is criminal, and gross.

        • Krauerking@lemy.lol
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          7 months ago

          Or if you want a clever subtle song choice.

          “I love little girls, They make me feel so good”
          ~ Little girls - Oingo Boingo, 1981

          But seriously I love that Danny Elfman was so pissed at his industry having this issue that he straight up made the creepiest, wrong song, just to mock them. And mostly everyone’s takeaway was just “ew”.

  • Donkter@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    I felt the same thing when I went to check out my parent’s version of a rebellious rock band “the rolling stones”

    • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      My mom’s rebellious rock band was Black Sabbath, so I never experienced that level of disappointment. The first time I listened to them I was like “holy shit, this is bad ass!”. I still feel that way. I was just rocking out to Wasp/Behind the Wall of Sleep/Basically last night. But I thought the Stones were pretty badass the first time I heard them too. Paint it Black goes hard, and Gimme Shelter is a very cool song. I love the sound of Sympathy for the Devil.