• @PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca
    link
    fedilink
    161 year ago

    She broke up with me abruptly because I just wasn’t a boyfriend like Edward was to Bella and then 6months later she asks me out again and then 6 months from then she breaks up with me because I told her “I love you” and according to her, that meant “I want to have sex with you very soon” so she broke up with me again.

    High school, man.

  • DracEULA
    link
    fedilink
    121 year ago

    Got addicted to Farmville. Should have known right then that it wasn’t going to work.

    • @jimmyjazx
      link
      31 year ago

      I saw a Farmville themed slot machine recently. Like a time warp to 2007

      • DracEULA
        link
        fedilink
        31 year ago

        I used to work at a casino and we had the weirdest games. Half of them looked like they were pulled from weird fetish sites, like we had sexy Medusa and lots of anamorphized animals in risque outfits.

  • animist
    link
    121 year ago

    Pray for forgiveness every time we had sex

      • animist
        link
        31 year ago

        Yep it’s about as fun as it sounds

        • BOMBS
          link
          fedilink
          31 year ago

          I could see that getting kinky if played right, tho I imagine anyone that seriously prays for forgiveness after sex is probably not into getting kinky.

          • animist
            link
            21 year ago

            Yeah this person was absolutely not kinky

  • @alokir@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    91 year ago

    She was learning to play the guitar but wasn’t very good at it. I also started learnig so we could play together. I was starting to get decent, learned a song and decided to play it to her.

    Halfway through the song she freaked out and shouted that if I ever play in front of her again she’ll break up with me.

  • BOMBS
    link
    fedilink
    81 year ago

    We were getting ready to have sex. I saw that one of our blanket had a brown stain on it, and she said she had wiped her hands on it after eating chocolate. We had sex. Months later, she admitted that she actually wiped her ass with the blanket to make sure she didn’t have shit on her asshole. She was nasty af, but we ended up breaking up for another reason. She was a deranged narcissist. I’m not saying this as a layperson that watched YouTube videos to get over the relationship. I actually went to a therapist that is a nationally renowned specialist on narcissistic relationships.

  • kneelknee 🐖
    link
    fedilink
    61 year ago

    I had an ex that wanted to take a break for a bit because they wanted to “give me up” for Lent. They said I was the most important thing to them at the time, so it was kind of sweet and romantic…but definitely strange as well.

    • @totoro@mander.xyz
      link
      fedilink
      31 year ago

      What’s the story behind that? Did she claim she just “forgot” and cheated? Were you “on a break”?

      • @Binzy_Boi@lemmy.ml
        link
        fedilink
        31 year ago

        Nope. She actually straight up forgot.

        I introduced her to this place I would usually go to hang out in the community, and she’d tell everyone who asked if we were dating that we weren’t. I didn’t say anything because, being young and dumb, I just kinda assumed she was being shy and didn’t want to share with anybody.

        Come a few days later, we were hanging out at the park close to her place, and while we were talking on the swings, she casually starts bringing up to me how she met this guy at a event her friend invited her to, and how he asked her out. I was confused, said I thought we were dating, and then after thinking over for a moment in confusion, you could see the moment of realization when she basically said “oh yeah, we were, whoops”.

    • kneelknee 🐖
      link
      fedilink
      21 year ago

      How does one forget that they’re dating someone? Did you guys not talk for weeks or something?

  • @eighty
    link
    41 year ago

    Goes to bed in socks. I’ve come around to it and understand it’s a preference but my lord when they first told me it was the wildest thing

  • @phlemmy@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    31 year ago

    She followed me into the men’s washroom and made out with me after I just puked then sucked my dick. We dated for 2 years after that.

  • @Cunty@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    31 year ago

    Called me a “trashy hood rat” for having a memorial tattoo for a friend/FWB that was murdered years before I met them.

    • @jimmyjazx
      link
      31 year ago

      Everyone knows hood rats have homemade jesus-ey tattoos. Do you have any of those?

  • @Notnotmike@beehaw.org
    link
    fedilink
    11 year ago

    She was very much into “crafts” but the weird kind. I’m not talking knitting, I’m saying she had a baby dolls head hanging from the ceiling for “art” reasons. She went to a west Canadian beach (i.e. Lots of rocks), came back with a bunch of dead crabs and wanted to create a little crab model out of their corpses

    Not the weirdest thing ever, but it was definitely odd to bring dead animals halfway across the continent with the intent to do amateur taxidermy