Gotta keep it vague for privacy but the key details should be enough. We first met through a dating app. It didn’t work out. We remained friends. Became best friends. They fell on terribly hard times. They moved in with me. Sleeping on the couch was not good for the long term. We now share a bed, and eventually went halvesies on a new bigger one. We became very close over the past few years. I love my best friend. Sometimes do non intercourse sexish things but have no interest in a relationship. Hard times are likely to continue due to external problems that despite our best efforts, will not likely go away. I’d never kick them out, it would be on the level of hurting a puppy. What kind of monster would do that? I have been wanting a relationship but it would be awkward to have to explain all this to any new partners. I can’t even imagine how my friend would take it. I wouldn’t want to sacrifice our relationship just so I can start dating again. A room in the apartment is vacant now and they could move into that one but I dread broaching the topic to them. I don’t know how they’re going to react and no matter what happens I want to keep this person in my life. We’re getting older and there’s no guarantee that the “hard times” will go away. It might even last the rest of our lives. I don’t know what to do. I can’t face the reality that they might leave rather than watch me do my own thing. How do I have my cake and eat it too?

  • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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    2 months ago

    You need therapy to figure out why you’re placing the needs of other people ahead of your own.

    Any advice is to hire a competent therapist. If you’re a man, I also advise joining a men’s group.

    This kind of compulsion will fuck up your life if you don’t get it figured out.

    non-intercourse sex things in bed with your best friend whom you’re keeping around for financial reasons: fuck you got some shit to figure out