Sorry for being late on this, but I saw some decrepit struggle sessoin from a while ago and wanted to add on. Also I want to make sure everybody on this site knows, especially with the new bluesky folks arriving, but NOBODY SHOULD FEEL BAD FOR INCELS.
You seriously have no excuse. There are actual adults who partake in this shit. I have been rejected and/or dumped by everybody I have shown romantic interested in, and not once in my life has it ever, EVER crossed my mind (nat even once) that, “oh, gee! i get it now! it’s those dumb women that are the problem!” because it isn’t hard to have a shred of fucking empathy and realise that people have free will, and you aren’t entitled to anything, ESPECIALLY NOT PEOPLE. I cannot stress this enough,
INCELS THINK THEY ARE ENTITLED TO PEOPLE. HUMAN BEINGS
I don’t care how much you think men get rejected more than women do (not true at all), or if society supposedly just made them this way (re: people have free will), or any justification you have to be nice to incels, THEY DO NOT DESERVE IT. THEY SHOULD LEARN TO TREAT PEOPLE AS HUMANS, NOT AS SEX TOYS.
tl;dr, if you’re an incel, disrespectfully fuck off and die.
- blakeus12
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At the risk of summoning UlyssesT to kick my ass for using this comparison, I view incels and fascists like zombies. I have sympathy for the children they once were and the people they could have been, but once the change happens it’s just a waste of feeling, and you can only think about who they want to hurt.
Good metaphor
incredibly well put.
I think a lot of people hear incel and think “socially awkward young man” and relate to them. Those people need to realize that incel is more than just the sob story narrative that incels paint about the world. Their ideological is fundamentally reactionary and misogynistic.
I refuse to believe there was a struggle session about feeling sorry for incels on this website
you fail to understand that the average Hexbear can ignite a site-wide struggle session over a single (or even a couple) comment. this is our power comrade.
never forget this site had a week-long struggle session about outdoor cats because one person made a comment saying that they trap outdoor cats in their neighborhood and get them neutered/spayed. (that is not verbatim but it was along those lines lmao)
I tried to ignite a cat vs dog struggle sesh, multiple times, just because someone dared to suggest cats are better because they don’t yap nearly as much as dogs.
I will keep doing it until I get this issue stickied, because I’m sicko thunder
well i mean objectively dogs are better than cats, but if you want to start a struggle session you’ve gotta get real wacky with that belief…
have you considered commenting something like “fucking disgusting animals anytime I come across a mangy stray outdoors (who has probably slaughtered hundreds, if not thousands, of local birds and small mammals) I let my dog off the leash and he usually snaps their necks. cats can’t and won’t even protect you if your home gets invaded by cops”** or something else along those lines under someone’s post about their pet? good luck
**this statement is NOT endorsed by abc he is kind to all animals, even the 8 stray cats in his apartment complex who always try begging for treats when he is walking to the mailbox
No, but seriously, my area has a cat infestation. That’s right, I said it, they’re a fucking PESTILENCE. They’re everywhere. 25 years ago it used be stray dogs who’d roam the streets. Who knows what’s happened to them. Wiped out by hurricanes. Rounded up by dog catchers. Genocided by cats, who knows.
Now, not only is there cat shit everywhere, cats are outright destroyingthe flora and fauna. What’s worse is there’s fucking people dumping kitty kibbles on the streets, by buildings, IN buildings. Grandmas, college kids, LIBS.
This has to fucking stop. Also cat shit is much, much worse than dog shit, and on that metric alone dogs win, no further need to debate.
Misogynists suck btw, for sure
do we live in the same apartment complex???my apartment complex borders a larger complex and a bunch of single family homes, so of course, a few strays isn’t unusual but holy shit this is the first place I’ve lived in this city (fairly large 300k+ population) that I’m like “there are too many stray animals outside” and they’re ALL cats. Literal families of cats too because, since moving here back in August, I’ve seen two toms with distinct coats and then 3 older females who also have distinct coats, and then a bunch of 1-3 year old cats with…those same coats.
What’s worse is there’s fucking people dumping kitty kibbles on the streets, by buildings, IN buildings. Grandmas, college kids, LIBS.
this is me and my two neighbors (I caved one rainy day when as I was stepping outside to go to the store, one of the female strays was just sitting on my welcome mat just wet, cold, and clearly looking for a dry place to hide out and my heart broke & next thing I know I’m bringing back a jumbo bag of Temptations cat treats from the store and putting some out beside her on my door mat…YES IF YOU WERE WONDERING SHE NOW COMES RUNNING ACROSS THE PARKING LOT WHENEVER SHE SEES ME GETTING MAIL AND FOR THE PAST TWO WEEKS I’VE BEEN LIKE ‘I DON’T HAVE ANY TREATS’ AND SHE TRIES TO BITE ME AFTER I GIVE HER A SINGLE HEAD SCRATCH)Now, not only is there cat shit everywhere, cats are outright destroyingthe flora and fauna
that’s right and why i haven’t succumbed to like, literally feeding the entire population kibble like my one neighbor does nightly. the other day I heard one of the females yowling (i swear to god at first I was like “oh they’re having sex” but i remembered its winter and they were probably fighting eachother) and I was sitting on my couch like
as I realized that come spring, there’s gonna be population boom when all of the cats get pregnant and can sustain those kittens since they have easy access to a food source (me, the pushover twink)
2·6 days agoMeooooooww
I don’t specifically remember that one. I i was involved somehow and I wasn’t sure what it was. I think it was over some ancillary point. Or maybe I just missed it.
there is a large reactionary userbase
maybe i’m tripping idk
Nope. I wouldn’t call it a struggle session, but there are definitely some people who seem to come crawling out of the woodwork when incels are mentioned
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there’s incels and then there’s incels and if someone hasn’t figured out that the hexbear definition of incel is exclusively the ideological ones it’s a great way to get 200+ comments.
is there a pithy or meme style difference between an incel and someone who got shot down a few times? I feel like some of the more rancid incel ideology is obfuscated and smuggled in with more relatable and healthy if not fun stories about getting rebuffed. delineating between ‘incel’ and ‘someone who is sad that she said no’ would be helpful for providing an offramp away from inceldom to men in the pipeline
This language is gunna sound abstracted, so apologies in advance. Incels treat human relationships as, to a large degree, calculable and transactional. Attractiveness can be quantified (women can be rated on a scale of 1 to 10). Time and money invested has an expected output. Women seek a positive return on investment with a potential romantic or sexual partner. An incel’s goal is to reach that ‘minimum rung’ and when they find out that relationships also have an emotional component it doesn’t fit into their calculus and their reaction to rejection is violent and abhorrent. They accuse women of not following the rules or playing the game properly. I would argue that men who subscribe to the above and still occasionally or regularly have sexual encounters are still incels. It’s capitalist realism applied to human relationships.
Edit (I do think this is just one element of inceldom though and doesn’t cover other aspects of white supremacy/patriarch etc. so I think my summary is reductive, but as for how PUA/online inceldom instrumentalises and proslytises itself is this ‘man does x woman must do y’ equations’. The ideology behind it is a black box that ties in the rest of the whole shit show)
Isn’t that also just the broader manosphere ideology, the only difference being “there’s no hope”, rather than the rest of the manosphere, who believes the “system” can be gamed?
Yeh I like this interpretation that incels are doomer manosophere types. I kinda need to mull over it a bit more, I’m at work so can’t really tease out the delineations between regular manosphere chud and incel. Though the latter is ever present in the former and is the threat behind the ‘acceptable’ behaviour of the former
Edit: i also want to state that I’m not saying that inceldom is in any way ‘understandable’ or forgivable. Mostly what I’m sharing is in response to thread OPs question what I’ve observed about how men incels talk about interactions with women, and how they rationalise their rejection in terms of input/output, and that’s how they differ from non incels who may chalk it up to personality disagreement or other circumstances/reasons
I don’t know if I just repackaged something i learnt from fd signifier so ill credit his video just in case https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QNjwM2a87g
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
Fuck incels. They are some of the lowest dregs of human society. These fucking morons never consider for a second that maybe, JUST MAYBE, their actions are what cause them to be undesirable for other people. Be it their personality, their hygiene, or their actions. But no, instead it’s my fault for being a woman. Go to hell. I hope you die lonely.
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK
SORRY FOR BEING LATE ON THIS, BUT I SAW SOME DECREPIT STRUGGLE SESSOIN FROM A WHILE AGO AND WANTED TO ADD ON. ALSO I WANT TO MAKE SURE EVERYBODY ON THE SITE KNOWS, ESPECIALLY WITH THE NEW BLUESKY FOLKS ARRIVING, BUT NOBODY SHOULD FEEL BAD FOR INCELS.
YOU SERIOUSLY HAVE NO EXCUSE. THERE ARE ACTUAL ADULTS WHO PARTAKE IN THIS SHIT. I HAVE BEEN REJECTED AND/OR DUMPED BY EVERYBODY I HAVE SHOWN ROMANTIC INTERESTED IN, AND NOT ONCE IN MY LIFE HAS IT EVER, EVER CROSSED MY MIND (NAT EVEN ONCE) THAT, “OH, GEE! I GET IT NOW! IT’S THOSE DUMB WOMEN THAT ARE THE PROBLEM!” BECAUSE IT ISN’T HARD TO HAVE A SHRED OF FUCKING EMPATHY AND REALISE THAT PEOPLE HAVE FREE WILL, AND YOU AREN’T ENTITLED TO ANYTHING, ESPECIALLY NOT PEOPLE. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH,
INCELS THINK THEY ARE ENTITLED TO PEOPLE. HUMAN BEINGS
I DON’T CARE HOW MUCH YOU THINK MEN GET REJECTED MORE THAN WOMEN DO (NOT TRUE AT ALL), OR IF SOCIETY SUPPOSEDLY JUST MADE THEM THIS WAY (RE: PEOPLE HAVE FREE WILL), OR ANY JUSTIFICATION YOU HAVE TO BE NICE TO INCELS, THEY DO NOT DESERVE IT. THEY SHOULD LEARN TO TREAT PEOPLE AS HUMANS, NOT AS SEX TOYS.
TL;DR, IF YOU’RE AN INCEL, DISRESPECTFULLY FUCK OFF AND DIE.
- BLAKEUS12 (who is not me)
EVEN LOUDER
SORRY FOR BEING LATE ON THIS, BUT I SAW SOME DECREPIT STRUGGLE SESSOIN FROM A WHILE AGO AND WANTED TO ADD ON. ALSO I WANT TO MAKE SURE EVERYBODY ON THE SITE KNOWS, ESPECIALLY WITH THE NEW BLUESKY FOLKS ARRIVING, BUT NOBODY SHOULD FEEL BAD FOR INCELS.
YOU SERIOUSLY HAVE NO EXCUSE. THERE ARE ACTUAL ADULTS WHO PARTAKE IN THIS SHIT. I HAVE BEEN REJECTED AND/OR DUMPED BY EVERYBODY I HAVE SHOWN ROMANTIC INTERESTED IN, AND NOT ONCE IN MY LIFE HAS IT EVER, EVER CROSSED MY MIND (NAT EVEN ONCE) THAT, “OH, GEE! I GET IT NOW! IT’S THOSE DUMB WOMEN THAT ARE THE PROBLEM!” BECAUSE IT ISN’T HARD TO HAVE A SHRED OF FUCKING EMPATHY AND REALISE THAT PEOPLE HAVE FREE WILL, AND YOU AREN’T ENTITLED TO ANYTHING, ESPECIALLY NOT PEOPLE. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH,
INCELS THINK THEY ARE ENTITLED TO PEOPLE. HUMAN BEINGS
I DON’T CARE HOW MUCH YOU THINK MEN GET REJECTED MORE THAN WOMEN DO (NOT TRUE AT ALL), OR IF SOCIETY SUPPOSEDLY JUST MADE THEM THIS WAY (RE: PEOPLE HAVE FREE WILL), OR ANY JUSTIFICATION YOU HAVE TO BE NICE TO INCELS, THEY DO NOT DESERVE IT. THEY SHOULD LEARN TO TREAT PEOPLE AS HUMANS, NOT AS SEX TOYS.
TL;DR, IF YOU’RE AN INCEL, DISRESPECTFULLY FUCK OFF AND DIE.
- BLAKEUS12 (who is not me)
Okay that is sufficiently loud ty
That’s good I think I was approaching maximum loudness
how HOW
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Yeah seriously
I got dumped a month ago and I don’t even blame my ex, let alone all women
Not her fault, things just didn’t work out but that’s fine and I wish her well
Once it became a movement, incel ideology became like a cancer and grew like one but just like cancer there are causes
On some level I theorize that incels came into existence as a sort of waste byproduct of patriarchy and late stage capitalism but similar shit could be said about fascists and we damn well shouldn’t be sympathetic to them either
Incels are shit and must report for reeducation.
However, that’s not to say dating and relationships arent incredibly dystopian these days under late capital. The fact that many ways to meet partners are monetized and gamefied is still something we can and should critique.
But that’s (importantly) not saying incels are right in any way shape or form, since they feel entitled to a partner, rather than frustrated at material conditions (something that would be justifiable). Ironically, in their nostalgia for trad life they become idealists par excellence, missing out on all the material conditions that also make the “trad” life impossible.
Being nice to entitled men just invites more at-risk dudes to start thinking that way. It needs to be socially unacceptable. We need to be like Gandalf banishing Wormtongue from Theoden’s hall. At the first hint of entitlement, bully the shit out of them. Raise the barrier of entry. Like how demonizing communism means there are fewer communists.
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I think the article that people were posting about had a stance of “you shouldn’t have a concept of an inherent/essential stratification of sexual ‘value’ amongst men [or anyone], because that is the same idea that fuels incels”.
Most people who are sexually frustrated should be reachable with assertions like “no one is universally unfuckable”, “attractiveness is subjective and heavily based on personality”, “there’s a flip side of people who won’t consider you, which is people you wouldn’t consider”, “there is no one who is objectively better to date, only people who are subjectively better for you” and “there is no perfect match for you, everyone in this world and it’s okay to be short of perfect”. If they don’t accept any of this, then they have chosen to be horrible on the inside and should be pilloried as such.
It’s also worth saying that the internet makes this worse. If your reference point is the people around you that you interact with, it’s more likely that you’ll adapt to them. If your reference point is this abstract idea of what relational success looks like, based on images that you do not interact with, backed up by a bunch of stories about other people’s relational failures or non-starters, you’re more likely to develop a self-hating nihilistic approach to your own sexuality.
