I’m gonna get real with you folks, we’ve had way too many of these posts recently. I’ve been reflecting on this topic a lot the past few days. For me personally, I couldn’t care less about my gender identity. But just because that’s true for me, doesn’t make that true for everyone.

The beauty of the fediverse is that if you don’t like the way a particular instance or community is moderated you can simply choose another to hang out on, or create your own.

Blajah has made it pretty clear by now they will ban anyone who argues against the validity of xenogenders, in order to create a safe space for those folks. That’s fair enough imo.

Safe spaces should be respected, and Blajah’s admins/mods do not deserve abuse for creating and maintaining those spaces.

I can completely understand why Blajah users don’t want to have to constantly argue with external users about the validity of their chosen identities. Bans are one way Blajah has decided to manage that problem so that their users can experience lemmy in relative peace and safety. While it is a blunt tool and I have my reservations about preemptive bans, there are not many other options for @ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone, other than defederation from most instances. That would be a terrible outcome for the fediverse as a whole.

In order to help Blajah to maintain their safe space, I would like to propose, if @db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com agrees and community sentiment is positive:

  • that we no longer accept posts about this topic in this community; and - we also remove previous posts on this topic from the community.

That’s all folks, have at 'er.

Edit: thanks for all your feedback and comments. I think it’s clear that the vast majority of people are fed up with this topic coming up repeatedly.

Summarizing the feedback, I’d say most folks would prefer to retain previous posts for the sake of posterity, and to serve as an example of why we don’t want anymore of these posts. I’m happy to take that on board. For those folks saying I’m a PTB for intervening in this way, I’ll just remind you that I haven’t made any arbitrary mod decisions, and I’ve consulted with db0 and the community as a whole before taking any mod actions.

I think the way to move forward with this is to acknowledge that there’s a bunch of queer and straight people who have a problem with xenogenders. Personally, I think that’s a valid perspective and shouldn’t sanctioned on our instance. But for Blajah, they’ve drawn a line in the sand over this and that’s ok too. Our instance won’t be blocking anyone over their opinions on the topic, especially in this community where free discussion is necessary and encouraged. But safe spaces should be respected.

A lot of folks mentioned I should more more specific about the “no more posts about Blajah’s mod policies” rather than making it a sweeping and overly broad statement. I think that’s good feedback. I will amend this to "No more posts in this community about the validity or otherwise of neopronouns, xenogenders, and bans originating from Blajah about gatekeeping or transphobia. This is in recognition of Blajah’s safe space policy. You are of course free to discuss those topics outside of this community.

Note that this decision isn’t about ideological gatekeeping, its about reducing the workload for our own mods and admins in trying to moderate this community, and to avoid iterating over the same old topics again and again.

Blajah isn’t getting a “free pass” over YPTB posts - if you feel they are power tripping over other issues then feel free to make a post here. But if it’s a post questioning the validity of xenogenders or about Blajah bans for gatekeeping then that will no longer be allowed here. Those folks deserve a safe space on Lemmy, even if it’s not a mainstream opinion.

For those folks who feel aggrieved about being accused of “transphobia” or “gatekeeping” over their views on this topic, I completely understand just how hurtful it can be to be unfairly (imo) accused in this way. I’ve been in the same position, and I also found it difficult to deal with. I want those folks to know that our instance does not require you to support xenogenders in order to participate in our instance. However we do require that you use preferred pronouns whenever they are specified. That’s been a longstanding instance policy on dbzer0.

Thank everyone for your feedback.

  • PugJesus@lemmy.world
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    18 hours ago

    Maybe it is? Don’t non-binary people have a right to moderate their own space as they like?

    Is there a group out there that doesn’t have the right to moderate their own space ‘as they like’?

    If they have a rule against gatekeeping gender identities and pronouns in their own instance, don’t they have a right to remove offenders from their servers?

    “They have the right” and “It is always the correct call” are two entirely different concepts.

    You’re all over this topic today, maybe just take a second and listen to what the community is saying. You’ve more than said your piece.

    Yeah, well maybe I’m fucking pissed that I just watched a user get harassed out of the Fediverse because Blahaj wants to play harassment games on other people’s instances, and that I’m the one who had to fucking bring it up to be discussed. Maybe I don’t like the idea that if I stayed quiet this all would’ve been swept under the rug.

    • anarchiddy@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      17 hours ago

      Jesus

      I haven’t a clue what event you’re referring to even though I feel as though I’ve encountered nothing but your comments today. If your goal is to discuss a specific abuse then you’ve done a piss poor job of it.

      I’d recommend reaching out to @dbzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com if you think there’s been that severe of an abuse that’s happened, and the community mod hasn’t addressed it well enough.

      Honestly, though, it just seems like you have an axe to grind and you’re taking it out on everyone else. Either settle it with the admins or cool off a bit, you’re souring the space for everyone by flaming out like this.

      • PugJesus@lemmy.world
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        17 hours ago

        I haven’t a clue what event you’re referring to even though I feel as though I’ve encountered nothing but your comments today.

        I’ve summarized the events in this thread alone at least twice.

        My opinions on xenogender aside, the fact that Blahaj defenders, in this very comm, harassed a trans user into leaving the Fediverse has me fuming, and rightfully so in my opinion. And they play it off as “[The harassed user] deserved it.” even now. That is pretty core to the anger I feel right now.

        Uh, considering recent events, where Blahaj defenders dogpiled a trans person on another instance for disagreeing with them, you sure about that

        Most of my comments have been refutations to specific arguments put forth in the context of those events.

            • irelephant [he/him]🍭@lemm.ee
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              9 hours ago

              I personally find people identifying as animals a bit weird, but honestly, its their life and they’re not harming anyone, so whats the deal with it?

              • PugJesus@lemmy.world
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                9 hours ago

                I mean, I don’t necessarily disagree. What’s pertinent here, though, is that the position that identifying as animals is weird is a position worthy of getting a trans person accused of being a transphobe and a fascist, and dogpiled until they left the Fediverse entirely.

                Clearly, regardless of your position on the abstract matter of animals and identity, the behavior of the local community is less than stellar.

        • anarchiddy@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          17 hours ago

          Do you have something more specific than your (purely objective) recounting of what happened? A link to it?

          At the moment, I’m not sure I’d trust you if you told me the sky was blue

            • Nbard@aussie.zone
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              16 hours ago

              it looks like you’re geting angry about something third hand that another person reported as happening to them that even they’re not 100% on the causative factors but strongly suspect.

              • PugJesus@lemmy.world
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                16 hours ago

                There was a second ban that happened in that thread which I noted in a comment. And then, after the events of the thread, the user decided to leave the Fediverse entirely after, as a trans person, being repeatedly and insistently called a transphobe and fascist while other users backed the sentiment.

                • Nbard@aussie.zone
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                  15 hours ago

                  I think I need to stop trying to undestand why you are attacking people and screaming at them. Good bye.

                  • PugJesus@lemmy.world
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                    15 hours ago

                    Sorry that harassing a trans user until they leave the platform is no big deal in your eyes?

                • imaqtpie@sh.itjust.works
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                  15 hours ago

                  Whatever bro. You’re not gonna bring them back. It hasn’t been swept under the rug. And they are hardly the first person to leave the fediverse.

                  Just gotta move on at this point, you can’t control other servers. They are going to do what they do, and you obviously disagree, as is your right, but at some point you need to accept it and look to the future. You’re not accomplishing anything by continually bitching about what happened in the past.

                  For the record, I don’t think you’re a transphobe or anything of the sort. I understand your frustration and agitation, but there’s really nothing more to say at this point, just let it go.

                  • PugJesus@lemmy.world
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                    15 hours ago

                    It hasn’t been swept under the rug.

                    I’m literally the only person who’s brought it up.

                    You’re not accomplishing anything by continually bitching about what happened in the past.

                    Enabling bad behavior, on the other hand, is an accomplishment, if a negative one. It happened today, by the way, which is a pretty small ‘past’.

                    For the record, I don’t think you’re a transphobe or anything of the sort. I understand your frustration and agitation, but there’s really nothing more to say at this point, just let it go.

                    There isn’t much to add at this late point, but choosing to bang this drum was the right choice. Some fucked up shit happened, and an angry terminally online cripple is the only one who fucking made a squeak.

              • PugJesus@lemmy.world
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                17 hours ago

                That post is about a different user, a trans user, who was banned for comments they made on my post, which is not linked to directly.

                • anarchiddy@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                  16 hours ago

                  … for the same sentiment that got you banned

                  You’re not upset that a trans user got banned, you’re upset you got yourself banned and are pointing to a trans user as a shield against anti-trans accusations

                  You’re digging the hole deeper. Just let it go.

                  • PugJesus@lemmy.world
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                    16 hours ago

                    … for the same sentiment that got you banned

                    I said that dragonfucker wasn’t a gender, because dragons don’t exist.

                    The other user was first banned for asking a question about neopronouns, and then, subsequently, opining that people could not be possums.

                    You’re not upset that a trans user got banned, you’re upset you got yourself banned and are pointing to a trans user as a shield against anti-trans accusations

                    No, I’m upset that a trans user was harassed to the point of leaving the Fediverse.

                    You’re not upset that a trans user got banned, you’re upset you got yourself banned and are pointing to a trans user as a shield against anti-trans accusations

                    What.