I made this account as an alt because I’m deeply ashamed of the feelings and biases that could be considered reactionary. I know they’re stemming from living in a country that subscribes to the delusion of white supremacy, and other views that ultimately support capitalism, but I want to take responsibility for the work I have to do.
To give some context to the post title, I don’t think I’m virulently racist. I’m nonwhite, and I’m trying to address internalized racism and beliefs around white supremacy. I’ve read about and believe systemic racism is a thing, so I don’t think it’s a matter of me being convinced. I believe these are shitty and wrong things to feel, and I’ve done my best to consciously counter it, but I want to be better.
I’m trying to use things like Google to find resources, but it’s been so bad lately, and I don’t want to sink energy and resources into something like White Fragility when that’s not the kind of work I’m trying to do. Does that make sense?
I want to be better about self-crit, but I want to make sure I’m doing it the right way. Are there recommended books, resources, audiobooks, ways of approaching personal biases and maybe getting to the root of an issue around race? Is this just something that will click as I continue to actively confronting myself?
If there’s a more appropriate place to have discussions like this, I’m okay with this post/account getting removed. I don’t want to stir shit, and if this is a thing I need to work on with a therapist or on my own, I’m willing to continue doing that.
its something you gotta constantly confront yourself about. being raised in a racist society gives you incredible brainworms, and even the most wellmeaning people can have some nook of their brain contaminated until it manifests. in czech in particular, i was raised in the american czech community, at least partially, and they had a lot of racist slurs that got thrown around when i was a kid with no one telling me they were slurs or even a bad thing to call someone. im still recovering from that, like do you have any idea how hard it is to cross reference country bumpkin czech slurs and scrub it from your brain upon learning a word is actually a slur? its esoteric racism that only like 50k people know about and not many nonwhite people speak czech to tell you off about it.
this also applies to internalized racism and queerphobia.