Secretary Shitfaced can’t seem to go a week without another major fuckup leaking, geez!

And so what do you know, turns out there was ANOTHER Signal group chat happening on March 15, with 12 MORE people following along while buffoon Pete Hegseth texted them details about how he was bombing residential buildings with children in them in Yemen, in addition to that group chat with the editor of The Atlantic in it.

Trump’s DUI hire reportedly made a chat on his personal phone for his third wife Jennifer (who has been bizarrely tagging along with him everywhere, including meetings she should not be allowed in); his little brother Phil who he keeps finding nepo jobs for; his personal lawyer Tim Parlatore; his then-chief of staff Joe Kasper (who has since quit); Darin Selnick, his deputy chief of staff (suspended); retired Army sergeant major and advisor Eric Geressy; a legal adviser to Hegseth and a Navy commander in the Judge Advocate General’s Corps, and also a senior adviser to Hegseth for the Department of Homeland Security. The other people on the chat are still a mystery. His Instacart shopper, his dog groomer, his AA sponsor? Mommmmmmmy? Who knows! And, but, at least four of those people felt compelled to blab to the New York Times about it, and three also confirmed it to CNN.

. . . Speaking of people who have left the Pentagon, former chief Pentagon spokesman John Ullyot quit his job last week, and then tapped out a damning opinion piece for Politico about how the Pete-a-gon has had a “month of total chaos” and is in “disarray,” and experiencing “a full-blown meltdown.”

Ullyot was ride-or-die for Hegseth, he wants you to know (“he was the best man to shake things up at a Pentagon in need of serious reform”). But he can’t get with the “strange and baffling purge” of employees, and how Hegseth tried to smear his own aides anonymously to reporters. Ullyot is worried that such chaos might tarnish Dear Leader’s glorious name and the beauty of his many “wins.” LOL

. . . In addition to Kasper leaving, least three other people have been purged from SecDef Gang Tattoos’ domain: senior adviser Dan Caldwell, Hegseth deputy chief of staff Darin Selnick as mentioned above, and Colin Carroll, the chief of staff to Deputy Defense Secretary Stephen Feinberg. Not because they were using Signal or something, but reportedly because in March somebody leaked that Elon Musk was about to meet at the Pentagon in a secure room to get secret war plans for China, and Hegseth suspects them of being the leaker(s).

. . . Apparently Dear Leader also heard about the meeting in advance, though, and was not pleased, fuming, “What the fuck is Elon doing there? Make sure he doesn’t go.” What the fuck is he doing anywhere? Oh right, he spent millions to help Trump get elected.

But never mind all that purging and quitting, Hegseth has new help now! According to their social medias there’s two new kids in his office: 23-year-old Royce Chamberlin, and 2024 Clemson financial management grad Amjed Yacu, who went from interning to the SecDef’s office in four months, a meteoric rise! Yacu was so thrilled he celebrated his hiring with one of those LinkedIn gifs of people dancing around a giant cupcake, and Chamberlin cooed on Facebook: “I am excited and honored to announce I have been appointed to the Office of the Secretary of Defense at the DoD. Helping ensure our country is viewed as a force not to be reckoned with. ”

. . . Chamberlin’s rise is even more impressive; before this he was a video producer. That’s it, that was his only job. Bet THOSE guys won’t opine to Hegseth that he maybe shouldn’t use Signal chat for military operations.

Jesus Christ.