Right on, good people!

Awesome. That should help a lot of people. A lot of the wrong people, but a lot of people.

for now

That’s fucked up. It sounds exactly like he smoked one bong hit too many and went on his own Qanon trip.

My shiny metal ass is ready, Samsung. Try it.

You zink ve ar making vit ze funny schtuff?

demented rapist got his shit kicked by China.

That’s one for China.

Okay, bye!

Joeseph Gerbils

“slip -up” right

Lawsuit incoming, and I hope they lose their fucking shirt.

It’s a gol-dang mystery I tell you whut

So, nothing

Mr. Lebowski! It’s Brunt of the FCA at, well, Mr. Lebowski’s office again. We really do need to speak with you most urgently. If you’re avoiding these calls because of the self-sealing stem bolts, I can assure you that is not a problem. Please, do call us back.

It’s Brunt.

How odd.

Do you like sex, Mr. Riker?

Corporate journalism has catastrophically failed.

Everyone to the escape pods. Good luck.

With a yellow label RayoVac and a silver black cat Eveready?!

Ohh ho baby!

On Wednesday, Hegseth was seen trying to sit down with a pair of bespectacled cybersecurity officials as a last resort, but they immediately moved their laptops and turned their backs to him. He stood up from their table only to bump into a tall, muscular four-star Army general and spill whiskey all over himself, at which point the entire Pentagon cafeteria burst out in raucous laughter.

“Aw, no, no, no!” said Hegseth, who looked down, noticed the Dewar’s dripping down the front of his pants, and hastily attempted to cover it with his hands. “I swear I didn’t piss myself. I just spilled whiskey on my suit. See?”

“Everyone stop laughing,” the defense secretary screamed before running off in tears to hide in the Pentagon bathroom. “Stop it!”

At press time, a concerned Pentagon custodian had reportedly discovered Hegseth fast asleep on the restroom floor.

Aw yeah. That’s the stuff.

May I see them?

Stg = Seattle Theatre Group